3 Mindset Shifts to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed When Everything Feels Like Too Much
3 Mindset Shifts to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed When Everything Feels Like Too Much
If you’re feeling maxed out, behind on everything, and like your brain might explode from all the tabs open in your mind (and maybe on your laptop), you’re not alone. It’s not always easy to stop feeling overwhelmed - but there are certain things you can do.
Whether it’s the never-ending to-do list, that pile of laundry staring you down, or the mental exhaustion of juggling work, home, family, and everything in between overwhelm with ADHD is real. And it’s not just about the tasks themselves. It’s about the energy, executive functioning, and emotional labor it takes to get through the day.
I'm not offering a one-size-fits-all solution. There isn’t one. Instead, I’m sharing some mindset shifts, gentle reframes, and reminders to help you feel a little more grounded when everything feels like too much.
What You’ll Learn in this Blog Post:
Why overwhelm hits differently when you have ADHD or executive functioning challenges
The “something goes up, something has to go down” mindset shift
How to spot (and stop) the habit of comparing yourself to a past version of you
Questions to ask when you're in survival mode and need to re-center
Reframes and reminders to support yourself when overwhelm takes over
Why ADHD Makes Overwhelm Worse
If you struggle with executive functioning, things like planning, prioritizing, getting started, or following through, you’re at a higher risk of overwhelm. Here’s why:
Life doesn’t slow down to let you catch up
Tasks pile up and snowball quickly
The mental load of just keeping up feels never-ending
Systems that once worked no longer cut it as life gets more complex
Whether you're overwhelmed by adulting, chronic stress, perfectionism, or unexpected life events, it's valid.
3 Mindset Shifts for to help you stop feeling Overwhelmed
These aren’t quick fixes, but they are powerful ways to look at your situation differently.
1. If Something Goes Up, Something Has to Go Down
Time and energy are limited resources. If you're adding something new—like a project, a responsibility, or even something joyful—it will take up space. That means something else may need to pause or shift. This doesn’t mean failure for not being able to keep up with everything or balance things perfectly. It means you’re human.
Ask yourself:
What am I spending more time or energy on right now?
What might I intentionally step back from—for now?
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to a Past Version of You
“I used to be able to do this.”
“Why is this so hard now?”
Sound familiar?
Your life, capacity, and circumstances are different. Comparing yourself to a past version of you may be valid, but it’s not validating. Let yourself be where you are, without judgment.
3. Perfectionism and All-or-Nothing Thinking Make Overwhelm Worse
When your brain tells you:
"I need to do it perfectly or not at all"
"If I don’t have the right energy or mood, I’ll wait until later"
"If I can’t do the whole thing, what’s the point?"
Pause and check in. These thoughts are sneaky forms of perfectionism. Progress doesn't have to be perfect to count.
Try This: One Powerful Question
If you’re in survival mode, try asking:
What does survival mode look like for me right now?
This question came up in a coaching session with a client who realized she was still functioning—just not in the way she used to. That shift in self-awareness helped her define what “doing enough” looked like in this season.
5 Gentle Reframes and Reminders for ADHD Overwhelm
These are thoughts you can come back to when your brain is spiraling. Pick the ones that feel good to you:
I’m not trying to figure out everything right now.
When I go slower, I can be with my thoughts.
I can make small, slow progress. That’s still progress.
What can I do for future me?
Instead of focusing on the finish line, how can I find a small starting line?
And here's a bonus: Fun and joy are productive.
Even when you're overwhelmed, you're still allowed to seek lightness. Laughter, movement, connection matter. They support your brain and body.
You Don’t Have to Do Everything Right Now
Don’t feel pressured to remember everything or take action immediately. Bookmark this post and come back to it when you need it.
And remember:
You are allowed to slow down.
You are doing enough.
Looking for more strategies to get unstuck? Listen to the Free ADHD Action Plan Private Podcast
Learn More Here with the ADHD Action Plan Private Podcast
Curious about joining the Stuck to Started coaching membership?
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Sarah Lovell (00:02.178)
We are talking about overwhelm today. Laundry emails, never-ending to-do lists, but also the things in life that light you up. Passion projects, hobbies, planning that weekend away, making time for family and friends. Life is joyful, stressful, chaotic, and never seems to slow down. If you're constantly bouncing between work, home, errands, and wondering how everyone else seems to be adulting without falling apart, you are not alone.
In this episode, I'm talking about that all too familiar feeling of overwhelm when your brain feels completely maxed out and your to-do list will not stop. I'll share some gentle mindset shifts and supportive reframes when overwhelm feels paralyzing. I'm really glad you're here today.
Sarah Lovell (01:08.494)
So the phrase adulting was popular for a while, at least among millennials. I'm not sure if people are still throwing that term around as much, but when I think of overwhelm and when clients come to me with overwhelm, it is often around adulting. It is feeling like you're behind in life, that you can never catch up, more things keep getting added to your to-do list every single day.
and that feeling of like, am I always going to feel this way? Will it ever slow down? How do I keep up with all of the things that I have to do as an adult? And...
I think it can be, I think people can feel really isolated with that struggle of like, it looks like everyone else seems to have it together. Like, how are they keeping up with laundry? How are they responding to emails in a timely fashion? How are they hitting deadlines with work? How are they showing up to soccer practice with their kids and not completely disheveled? And I can guarantee that not everyone has it together and
even when people look like they have it together, everyone experiences periods of overwhelm. And I think especially in the social media world, people are posting very curated versions of their lives. Most people are not posting the overwhelm and the stress. And so I just wanna normalize it if you're like, how is everybody else doing this? More people than you realize are struggling.
And especially in my job as an executive function and ADHD coach, that's why people are reaching out to me is they're like, I am so overwhelmed. I'm struggling so hard. This is no longer sustainable. I literally cannot keep going like this. And there are so many things in life that can cause overwhelm. The state of the world, mental health, physical health, shoulds, perfectionism, the pace of life, like the requirements of life.
Sarah Lovell (03:18.414)
And if you struggle with executive functioning, if planning is hard for you, managing your time has been a chronic struggle, it's difficult to prioritize, it's really hard to get started on tasks, I think you're at a higher risk for overwhelm because everything snowballs and because life doesn't slow down for you to catch up. And it is so unfair.
Like, and even like the number of times that I've said overwhelm and I think like even talking about overwhelm right now, it's like starting to bring up a little bit of stress for me. I don't know if it's like that thing when you talk about yawning, you yawn. But so I just want to take a second here to pause for me and for you to just take a breath. Because if you're listening to this podcast episode, I'm guessing that you're overwhelmed.
whether in this current moment, this week, or chronically. And I know right now you are most likely multitasking, listening to me with driving, walking, doing chores, whatever it is you're doing. Like, thank you for being here. I appreciate you. But I want to just take a minute for me and for you right now to just take a second and take a breath before we talk more about overwhelm. Because I think sometimes...
When I talk about it with clients, they're like, the fact that we're talking about this is now making me even more overwhelmed. And so I just want to acknowledge that. So just take a second right now, just a breath.
Sarah Lovell (04:55.906)
and give yourself credit right now for being here and listening to this podcast because I know this is not an entertaining topic. You know, I'm not, the good hang, episode with, Tina Fey. I've listened to her over the weekend and that was extremely entertaining. I know I'm not that I know. I know this is not, this is a very different vibe podcast. and you're showing up.
and you're showing up here right now to learn about overwhelm and you're doing things for yourself right now while you're listening to me. So give yourself credit for the things that you're doing. Give yourself credit for being here. And as we jump into the content of this episode, if you're feeling all the feels and the overwhelm stirs up for you while you're listening to this podcast,
please give yourself permission to pause and you can come back another time or you can read the blog version on my website, executivefunctioningfirst.com slash podcast. So.
Sarah Lovell (06:14.68)
Today, I'm going to talk about why overwhelm is such a challenge, especially for neurodivergent folks, and some different ways to process, think about, reframe overwhelm. This episode's going to be a little bit different because obviously I love systems. I love coming in and being like, hey, try this thing, adjust it to fit for you. Here's a tool that you can add to your toolbox.
It's harder for me to do that on a topic like this because overwhelm is so individualized. And so I don't want to come in on this episode and say, hey, if you do this thing, you won't be overwhelmed anymore. That's not what this is at all. I'm not saying that systems will solve overwhelm. If you're experiencing mental health overwhelm, that's where therapy, counseling, and mental health supports are extremely important. We can't just rely on systems or tools.
So I just want to like validate that too. And this episode is definitely not trying to minimize your stress or overwhelm by telling you that a system is going to solve it. That is not what we're doing here today. I'm going to share some different ways to think about overwhelm, some reframes. And I'm not sharing specific systems in this episode, like I said, because overwhelm is so individualized. But I want to validate your experience and share some like new perspectives and new ways to think about it. So that might...
that might help you navigate, overwhelm differently or possibly look for different supports or think about different tools.
So I find that clients that come to work with me are in a cycle of burnout and overwhelm and things just keep getting more intense. And that's oftentimes when they're reaching out for support. And there can be different things causing overwhelm, right? Like there might be something specific that you can pinpoint, a life event, a physical or mental health challenge or issue.
Sarah Lovell (08:20.886)
a schedule change, an upcoming event, a deadline, a work project, right? You may be able to pinpoint, this is the thing right now that's causing me overwhelm. Or maybe it's something that has been chronic and it's been getting more intense because it's building and snowballing like I described earlier. And I tend to work with a lot of clients who have had this chronic stress and been in like a catch up mode their whole lives. And they had systems that worked
okay for them to juggle everything, but as life got busier, those systems were not okay enough. So kids, job responsibilities, I work with a lot of women business owners, and so the systems that once were okay, when you start adding more things into your life, they're just, not robust enough. They're not the right fit. Maybe they were never the right fit.
I especially see this a lot with business owners. So if you started, if this is you, just a little aside, a side step here, if you're not a business owner, stick with me, I promise. But if you are a business owner and you started your business as a side hustle, and then it started growing and you had more responsibilities and more time and more problems to solve, and you keep using systems that were barely working for you when life wasn't as hectic,
it's gonna snowball really, really hard. And so you deserve systems that actually fit your brain and your life. And that is for everybody, not just business owners. So again, I'm not going to...
come out here and say like, this is the system or this is the thing that no, that's not this episode is not actually about systems. But systems can be supportive. But the strip one of the mindset shifts that I want to share with you about overwhelm. And this relates to everybody. It's just noticing things in a different way and shifting your perspective on it. So if something goes up, something has to go down.
Sarah Lovell (10:32.994)
And so what I mean by that is if you have more things on your to-do list, if you have more responsibilities, if you have projects that take more time and energy, if things are being added to your plate, something else has to go down. I'm not saying that things need to be balanced. No, that's difficult one. But if the scale is increasing on one side, the scale has to go down on the other side because time
and energy are limited resources. You can only spread them so far. And so I joke with my college students when I talk about this with them, that if their schoolwork, their studying, their projects, their intramural sports is taking up more and more time, the thing that tends to go down is sleep. And we don't necessarily want that to be the thing that's going down, right? Sometimes
There is a natural of like, if I'm awake, I need to stay up later to finish something. I'm going to go to bed later. Sleep goes down every once in while. Sure. But if that is chronic, that's not sustainable. Right. And so sleep tends to be for a lot of people, the thing that naturally goes down first because of the time piece. I have more things to do and so I can't get to bed or I'm so overwhelmed or stressed. I
literally can't fall asleep. And so.
can give you a quick example of how this is showing up in my life right now in my business and how I'm navigating this idea of something going up, something going down, because for me, I refuse to let it be sleep as much as it's within my control. So I'm currently spending more time and energy working on this new project in my business. Sneak peek, I'm creating like a small group coaching program for women business owners.
Sarah Lovell (12:32.532)
and I will talk about it more in future episodes. I'm very excited about it. But it's a ton of mental energy, problem solving. I'm putting a lot of time into researching and design and all sorts of stuff for this small group coaching program. And this is not something that I currently do in my normal day-to-day life. I'm adding it to my schedule. And so...
That means that I need to take time from other things. So I'm spending less time creating content on social media. I'm spending less time marketing my membership right now. And that's not to say that I won't go back to those things or adjust those things, but in order for me to spend, you know, a few hours a week on this small group coaching setup, I need to let go or decrease other.
projects in my business. And because if I was trying to do all of that, my overwhelm would be even higher. But I've also noticed because I'm spending more time, energy, thought, thinking on this project, I've noticed unintentionally, not the way that I want to be decreasing something.
I've stopped doing as much of my like exercise and self care. Like that has kind of just naturally fallen off because I'm putting all of this energy into something else. Not what I want to do, not sustainable for me. And so for me, it's just noticing, okay, if something is going up, there are some things that I'm gonna have to choose to go down. It's not forever.
But maybe it's not even fully. Maybe it's like, just doing a little bit less of it, right? It doesn't have to be all or nothing. We'll talk about that in a second. But it's like kind of like this intentional, if something is going up, I'm intentionally going to step back on something. And that's a priority. This is executive functioning. is where the systems do come in of time management and prioritizing and all of that. But it's also noticing the unintentional drop of something like, I
Sarah Lovell (14:58.998)
skipped yoga or I'm not going for my afternoon walk because I'm pushing through on this project because I'm so excited about it. It's kind of, this is a maybe not the best example but the one that's true to my life right now it's it's like a it's overwhelmed for sure but it's something that I'm excited about. So it's a good good overwhelm but this is true for not that it's good or bad you know I don't want to get into like good versus bad overwhelm.
But it's something that I'm choosing and something that I'm excited about versus I want to acknowledge a lot of overwhelm is something that is being put on you against, right? It's like, I don't want to be doing that thing or that thing is not something I'm choosing. I fully recognize that too. But I just wanted to share an example from my own life right now. So that is one mindset shift. If something is going up, noticing that other things will come down.
does not have to be forever, does not have to be all or nothing. Looking at is there something that you can intentionally choose to decrease your time and energy on and looking for are there things that I, oops, that fell off but I wanna bring that back. Oops, my dog just sneezed, excuse him. The other mindset shift that I want to encourage you to look out for when you're feeling overwhelmed.
is noticing if you're comparing yourself to yourself. And what I mean by that is this self-talk of, used to be able to do all of this, or I had more energy, or things were easier. You're comparing current you to past you. And some of these thoughts or observations might be valid.
yeah, maybe 20 years ago, you could juggle 100 tasks and still have energy at the end of the day. Or maybe that type of project used to come more easy to you and didn't create as much stress. That might be valid, but it is not validating. And what I mean by that is if you're
Sarah Lovell (17:22.326)
almost like bullying yourself of like, I should be able to do this because I did it before, I, you know, whatever that might be, bullying yourself or comparing yourself to yourself in a way that doesn't feel good is not going to motivate you. It's not going to energize you. It's not going to push you to do the things that you want or need to do for most people. So this is where it's like, it's okay to feel your feelings.
Allow yourself to notice those thoughts if they're popping up, but give yourself permission to be in a different place. You have different energy, you have different moods, you have different mental health, there are different circumstances, different schedules, different demands, different capacity, different tools, different plans moving forward. Your life is different right now than it was to whatever you're comparing yourself to.
So I think that can be a really powerful one of it's okay to let those thoughts pop up if you're catch yourself comparing yourself to yourself, but you can tell yourself that's valid, but it's not validating. That's not supportive for me right now. And give yourself permission to shift that thinking and to not let yourself get stuck there.
Sarah Lovell (18:48.608)
Another mindset shift is I talk a lot about perfectionism and all or nothing thinking and how that can keep you paralyzed. And if you're overwhelmed and if your brain is telling you, I need to be able to do something 100%, if not, why bother? Or if I can't do it like I used to do it, what's the point, right? That comparison piece. Or if your brain is saying, well, I don't have
the right energy or the right amount of time. So I'll wait until the perfect time presents itself to do this thing, especially when you're overwhelmed. That can be a really common one of like, now's not right, do it later. Just check in with yourself on that. Like, it valid? Because it could be. You could be like, I am straight up burnt out right now. I only have five minutes before my next meeting. This is not the right time. This is not the right energy.
to try to check this thing off my to-do list or to be doing this type of thinking. If that's the case, then yes, give yourself permission to say, I'm going to find another time to work on this or to come back to it. But also check in with yourself on, is there a small percentage that you could get started on? Like not letting yourself get into, I need to be able to do the entire thing right now, or I need to feel 100 % a certain way to do something.
That is discomfort tolerance, 100%. A lot of managing overwhelm is discomfort tolerance. It's uncomfortable to be overwhelmed. But check in on if perfectionism or all or nothing thinking is popping up for you. I was talking with a client recently and she came on the call and was like, I'm in survival mode, Sarah. We need to reevaluate.
what my planning is looking like right now. Like I am so overwhelmed. She had lots of personal stuff going on in her life. Her work was really demanding. She just had a lot going on. Like many people do. Like just everything was coming at her all at once. And so she was like, I'm in survival mode. And so I asked her this question that I'm gonna share with you so that you can ask yourself this question too, if it connects with you.
Sarah Lovell (21:13.804)
what does this version of survival mode look like right now? Because she had been in survival mode in the past, years ago, where survival mode was like, did I eat something today? Did I drink water? And can I get four hours of sleep? Like the bare minimum of basic self-care needs. Did I eat something? Did I drink something, water? And can I...
Can I squeeze in four hours of sleep? Like that's how busy and overwhelmed she was at that point in her life in the past. And so I knew this about her. And so I said, what does this version of survival mode look like right now? And she said, it's not that. It's not that I'm not there, but I can adult the best I can right now. So keeping the house somewhat clean and we defined what that looked like for her.
Like literally, she's like, do I have clean clothes to wear for the next two days? Great. That is survival mode right now. How can I be a good dog mom? And so she was like, you know, I'm gonna take the dogs for a couple of walks during the week. Good for them, good for me. But not like the full thing that she normally does with her dogs. And so.
She basically asking this question of what does survival mode look like right now, validated her experience of like, you know, how can I still take care of myself? What can that look like? How does that fit for me? And recognizing in a helpful way, looking at past versions of being in survival mode and saying like, okay, well I'm not, things are not as overwhelming or stressful as they were then. And so,
I can put a little bit more on my plate. And so I know I just said, don't compare yourself to yourself. And I'm giving an example where we did that. But in this case, it is more validating. And I think that's the piece that I want to hit home about the comparison. So for her, was like, OK, I'm not as overwhelmed as I was five years ago during that period of my life. And so being able to...
Sarah Lovell (23:36.728)
to know I've been through those challenges. These were the tools that supported me then. How can I support myself now? What does that look like? Is it different? If so, how? And then I think the final piece that I want to share with you around overwhelm is having reframes and reminders that you can tell yourself because your brain will auto-populate the negative thought or the unsupportive thought.
because brains are wired, unfortunately, that those thoughts come very quickly and very easily. And it takes practice to, one, notice that that thought is popping up, two, challenge that thought, and three, have a reframe or a reminder for yourself. And this is a practice. This is something I practice with clients all the time. So I'll share a few that...
clients have come up with that they've found helpful. And you can take what's helpful for you, adjust to fit or leave if none of this is a fit, that's okay. So here are a few of them. I'm not trying to figure out everything right now.
When I go slower, I can be with my thoughts and I'm not rushing towards something, especially when I don't even know what I'm rushing towards.
I can make slow, small progress and it doesn't have to look any certain way. It just has to feel good in the direction that I'm going.
Sarah Lovell (25:14.26)
What can I do for future me? Which I've recorded a few recent podcast episodes about this idea. Is there something small right now that you can do that's supportive for future you, even if you right now is in overwhelm? Something that's going to support you in this current moment and future you. How can you give yourself more credit?
And then I have two more. Instead of focusing on the finish line, how can I look for the small starting line? How can I start or restart? So this is especially helpful if your brain jumps ahead to the finish line, all of the things that you need to do or what things need to look like or, my gosh, how am I gonna make that happen? If your brain jumps ahead to the finish line, bring yourself back in a supportive way to the starting line.
What does getting started look like right now? Or restarting if you're like coming back to something. What are the super small steps? It might even feel silly, but what are the small steps that'll help you make some progress, even if it's not 100 % progress or perfect progress? And the last one is how can I look for opportunities for fun? And I know if you're like, Sarah, I am so overwhelmed.
Fun is not even on my radar. I hear you. I totally hear you. If you're like, I'm in survival mode, fun is not on the radar. This is something that a client brought up in a session and was like, am, basically she was like, I'm so overwhelmed, but I need something to lighten the mood. I need something to make me laugh. I need something to look forward to.
And so this was a question that we came up with of like, can I look for more opportunities for fun? And the reminder that fun and joy is productive. Fun and joy is supportive. You deserve fun and joy, even when you're overwhelmed. I think sometimes it can be like, I need to get things done. I need to, know, X, Z, whatever. Like, I don't deserve that. And so you do deserve joy and lightness and fun.
Sarah Lovell (27:30.222)
And so this idea of like turning the daily grind or turning overwhelmed, like looking for opportunities for joy, looking for opportunities for lightness. And so I know this episode was a different one than what I normally share. I kind of had an outline, but I went a little bit all over the place. So I appreciate you sticking with me on this one.
I hope I didn't just overwhelm you with thoughts and ideas. I know I cram a lot into these episodes. So before we wrap up, I just want to say, do not feel pressure to remember everything or even take action on anything from today's episode. You can take a second right now to take a deep breath, pause, let this information kind of wash over you and take whatever is most helpful for you today.
If anything in this episode resonated, make sure that you follow the podcast wherever you're listening. That way you get episodes each week. You can also save it if you want to listen to it again, or if you prefer reading a summary, if you want to revisit these thoughts, ideas, questions, and some of the reframes and reminders I shared today, you can read the blog version at executivefunctioningfirst.com slash podcast.
and I'll also put the link in the show notes. But be extra patient and kind with yourself as you navigate the rest of your day, the rest of your week. And I'm really glad you're here and I'll talk to you again soon.
