How do you Delegate Tasks with ADHD: Strategies to Make Delegating Easier
How Do you Delegate Tasks with ADHD: Strategies to Make Delegating Easier
Delegating effectively sounds simple — just hand something off, and it’s off your plate. But if you have ADHD, executive functioning challenges, or perfectionist tendencies, it can feel surprisingly complicated.
Maybe you tell yourself, “It’ll be faster if I just do it myself,” or you realize too late that you could’ve asked for help. Or maybe you want to delegate, but you don’t even know where to start.
The skills behind delegating
Delegating isn’t just about giving someone else a task — it’s a skill that requires planning, organization, communication, and time management. In other words, all of your executive function skills.
It’s something you learn and practice, not something that comes naturally to most of us. Whether you’re a manager leading a team, a parent divvying up chores, or a business owner trying to offload tasks, delegation takes time, energy, and practice.
Why Delegating Effectively Is So Hard
Here are five common reasons delegation can feel so complicated — and what you can do to make it easier:
1. It’s hard to look at the big picture and break things down
When you can’t see how all the pieces fit together, it’s tough to decide what to hand off. If the whole project feels blurry, passing off even one part feels impossible.
Strategy: Separate planning from action.
Sit down to map out what needs to happen — not to do it, just to make a plan. Once you see the steps, ask yourself:
Is there a small part I could delegate?
Who might be the right person for it?
2. Your relationship with time is complicated
If you lose track of time, underestimate how long things will take, or wait until the last minute, it can be too late to delegate.
Strategy: Build in time to delegate.
At the end of a meeting (or even a work session with yourself), take five minutes to ask:
Is there one thing here I could hand off? Getting in the habit of thinking about delegation before things feel urgent can make a huge difference.
3. Prioritizing feels impossible
When everything feels equally urgent — or nothing does — figuring out what to delegate feels like one more overwhelming decision.
Strategy: Use a simple filter. Ask yourself:
Does this task refill my cup or move a time-sensitive project forward?
If yes, keep it. If not, delegate it.
Delegating effectively is a form of prioritizing — it creates space for you to focus on what matters most.
4. You don’t want to overburden others
If you’re a people-pleaser or someone who’s sensitive to others’ stress levels, delegating might feel like dumping work. So instead, you quietly take on too much yourself.
Strategy: Reframe delegation as trust.
You’re not burdening someone — you’re giving them an opportunity to contribute, grow, and use their strengths. Try asking:
Is there something small and concrete I could hand off that would give this person a win?
5. Explaining what you need feels overwhelming
Sometimes it feels easier to just do it yourself than to take the time to train or explain.
Strategy: Think long game.
If this is a task that repeats — weekly, monthly, or regularly — the time you spend explaining now will save you hours later. Try creating a simple checklist, script, or training note that can live on for next time.
Bonus Reason: “It’s just easier if I do it myself”
This one shows up all the time. Whether it’s perfectionism, control, or sheer overwhelm, it can feel easier in the moment to do it yourself — even if that choice drains you in the long run.
Strategy: Ask yourself: What’s going to make the most impact?
Sometimes the most impactful thing you can do is slow down, take a breath, and invest a few minutes in setting someone else up for success.
Reflection Questions:
If you want to apply what you’ve learned, here are a few questions to consider:
Think of a recent task you did yourself. Was there a piece you could’ve delegated?
What usually stops you from delegating — time, communication, people-pleasing, or something else?
What’s one repeatable task you could start building a delegation checklist or template for?
If you delegated even one small task this week, how would that free up time or energy for something else?
The Big Picture
Delegating doesn’t come naturally to most people, especially if you struggle with executive functioning. It’s not a sign that you’re failing — it’s a skill that takes practice. Every small step counts. Even handing off one piece of a project makes a difference.
Next time you catch yourself thinking, “It’s just easier if I do it myself,” pause and ask:
Is there one piece of this I could delegate?
That small shift is where progress starts.
If you want support learning how to delegate, plan, and manage your time in a way that works for your brain, executive function coaching can help.
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SSarah Lovell (00:01)
Delegating is one of those things that sounds like it should be simple. Just hand the task off to someone else, it's off your plate, and then they get it done. If only it were that easy. If you experience challenges with executive functioning, ADHD, or even perfectionism, delegating can be an unexpected challenge. Maybe you'll tell yourself, it'll be faster if I just do it myself.
or you realize too late that you could have delegated a project, or maybe you want to ask for help, but you don't even know how to explain what you need. In today's episode, we're digging into why delegating feels so complicated. I'm going to share some real life examples you might relate to and give you some practical strategies that you can add to your toolbox and try. My hope is that by the end, you'll have at least one small way to make delegation less stressful.
and maybe even freeing. So let's jump in.
Ahem.
So the last two episodes, episode 46 and 47, I was talking about the emotional challenges and executive function challenges that impact and make asking for help harder. And I think of delegating as an advanced form of asking for help, but you're basically telling people that they need to do the thing, or maybe you're doing it in a way that you're still asking.
Delegating is something I talk about with clients a lot. And it's something that everybody is doing. It's not just people who are sitting in corner offices with big teams. Moms are delegating chores to kids. Partners are dividing up responsibilities and errands. College students are doing those dreaded group projects. Self-employed folks or people running their own businesses are figuring out what to off board.
hire help for or delegate out. And employees are often dividing up work amongst coworkers. So these are all different forms of delegation. And why is it so hard to delegate? I think a lot of times people are like, it should be easy, right? The should is a red flag. But delegating is a skill that you need to learn and practice. And it requires
all of your executive function skills. It's a trend on this podcast, right? Everything requires executive functioning, which is why it can be so challenging and why I wanna validate that if you're someone who has a hard time asking for help or delegating tasks, you're not alone and it's a skill that you can learn and practice. today I'm gonna share one of my stories of the first time I was delegating in a professional position.
And I promise it's going to relate to what we're talking about later. I'm going to share five reasons it's so hard to delegate and strategies to help you navigate it. So my first job out of college, which feels like forever ago at this point, but I was a research assistant at Emerson College in Boston and I was in, it was a language lab. And so I was 22. had a team of five undergraduate students who were
barely younger than me and a few grad students who were actually older than me. And I was the point person for moving multiple research projects forward under the direction of the professor. And there was also a postdoc in the lab, if you're familiar with research setup. But basically to say I felt unqualified was an understatement. There were some real intense imposter syndrome kicking around.
I had a research background from undergrad and I loved the research part of my job and I was really good at the executive function part of my job. That's how I became an executive function coach. I love creating systems. I love looking at big pictures and breaking them down, keeping track of multiple timelines, prioritizing, pulling data. Like it was my executive functioning project dream. Like I was just creating systems all the time and I loved that.
But something that I had never learned and didn't know how to innately do was delegate. And I was in charge of delegating and it was really, really hard. I had never had to do this before other than the group projects in college, which was pretty much a like divide and conquer strategy, right? There was no one person really taking the lead being like, I'm in charge, you do this. And so I realized
in retrospect, in the moment I did not realize this, but delegating is a skill. It's something you learn, you practice, and you build confidence with. And basically I didn't want to hand anything over to anyone, even though I had this full team of people. I wanted full control, which was literally impossible. And I realized that in order to move things forward in the lab, I was going to have to take time to figure out how to delegate.
And delegating takes time, energy, planning, and all of your executive function skills, like I've already said. So you literally need to carve out time to plan how to delegate and to practice delegating. And so this was something that over the course of the two years that I was in that lab, I eventually got better at. And I still have, you know,
a decade plus later, I still have a lot to learn when it comes to delegating. I'm not a professional professional delegator by any means. But, you know, as a solo business owner, that's something that I'm constantly looking at in my business. Like, are there things that I can hire help for that I can delegate and pass over? And so even though I still feel that I'm practicing the skill,
The way that I help my clients delegate is looking at why they're stuck and the systems and tools that are gonna help them navigate it. And that's what we're gonna talk about right now. So let's look at five common reasons that delegating is so hard and some strategies that can support you if this applies to you. So the first reason that delegating might be challenging is that it's hard to look at the big picture and break things down.
So let's say you have a big project at work. Maybe you're applying for a grant or a funding source or insert your own big project here. And you think, I'm just gonna figure this out myself. But once you get going, you realize that the project is way more involved. There's way more steps and some of the tasks.
maybe aren't best suited for your skill set, your time, your energy. But because you didn't kind of do this big picture look, or maybe you tried to do the big picture look and you're like, have no idea how to start. I have no idea what the middle steps are going to be. How do we get to this finish line? That is really challenging for a lot of people to look at the big picture and break it down. And so if you're not able to break it down, it
becomes almost impossible to pass it off, right? You can't pass off the entire project, most likely. You would pass off a chunk of it or a section of it. And so if you can't look at the big picture and break it down, delegating is very challenging. And so a strategy I talk about with clients a lot is separating out planning from action. And so what I mean by that is oftentimes when we look at our to-do list,
you see a project written out and you sit down and try to plan what you need to do and take action on that plan at the exact same time. And that's like a, you know, we feel like it's efficient to be like, all right, let me just figure it out and do it. But that can actually end up costing you more time and energy in the future because you aren't breaking it down in a way that you can.
make a plan and spread it out over time or divide it up. If you're like, let me just figure it out and do it in this moment, that can be really overwhelming and taxing. so separating out planning from action is literally what it sounds like. You sit down, you do a brain dump, you divide up to the best of your ability, what the different pieces of the task are. You maybe are writing out some of the sequencing.
If you're not sure, maybe this is where you're talking about it with a colleague. Maybe you're consulting chat GPT with caution, right? Asking it to help you break things down. And that's all you're going to do is make a blueprint or a map for yourself. And then you're going to pause or stop or take a break. And you're not necessarily going to start doing the thing that you just made the map for because it gives your brain
Time to regroup. So if this is a new concept for a lot of people, most people are like, let me figure it out and start it immediately. And so that can be a strategy to practice, right? Separating planning from action.
And then another approach to this specifically for delegating would be once you've separated out that planning from action, maybe asking yourself a question of, there a small chunk of this that I could pass off to somebody else? It does not need to be a full delegation plan. It might just be practicing, you know, what could it be, who could it be, and how can I sit down and talk with them about this? All right, the other reason number two.
that delegating might be challenging for you is if you have a complicated relationship with time. So maybe you experience timeliness, you overestimate or underestimate how long things will take, you lose track of time where you're like, you know, this has been on my to-do list for a week, but in reality, it's been on your to-do list for a couple of months or the other way around.
or you're like, it's due at the end of the month. I have plenty of time, but the end of the month is actually in two days, right? So if you experience, if your relationship with time is complicated, you're not alone. This is something I talk about all the time. I know I'm kind of a broken record telling you this, but like a lot of my clients feel really alone with these challenges because nobody else is talking about them or it's not a very common thing for people to talk about. But I talk about it every day with clients. So I know you're not alone.
So I just wanna throw that out there, because I know it can feel really isolating or feel really challenging, like if you're the only, like you feel like you're the only one who experiences this, I guarantee you are not. So if you have a, if your relationship with time is complicated, that is definitely going to impact your ability to delegate, because you might end up.
wanting to delegate, but by the time you realize, I can ask someone to do this or I can tell someone to do this, maybe it's too late. Maybe like if you're like, hey, can you do this today? Or hey, can you do this by the end of this week? And they're like, no, that doesn't fit my schedule or no, that task is actually a much bigger task. That's like two to three weeks worth of work, right? Then it does become challenging to pass things off.
One strategy for this is to, again, recognize that delegating takes time. So this would be practicing putting it into your schedule. And I would suggest was starting very, very small. So at the end of a meeting, it might be taking five minutes, whether it's with your team or just yourself, to ask, is there one thing from this
step list or from this meeting that I could delegate. And so that because you're already thinking about the stuff that was talked about in the meeting, your brain doesn't have to task switch from it. That is very helpful. And it can prevent that last minute scramble because you're like, okay, let me just look at what we talked about today. Is any of this something that I could delegate?
And then I will do a future series on time and perception of time, time management, all of that. That is just such a big, big topic. So I could dive into more strategies and resources here on time, but in the interest of time, I'm gonna move us on to the third reason that prioritizing is so challenging, or the third reason that delegating is so challenging, and that is prioritizing.
So that relates, prioritizing is the most complicated executive function skill in my mind because it requires planning, it requires time management, it requires organization, it requires all your other executive function skills. And so if you have 15, 30, 100 things on your plate and everything or nothing feels urgent,
it's really hard to be like, what should I give to somebody else or what could I delegate? What could I take off of my plate? So instead you end up, instead of sorting things out, you keep it for yourself because you're like, I just, it's to prioritize would take so much time and energy and effort. I'm just gonna do it myself. And so a strategy here would be filtering.
And so looking at if something doesn't require your unique expertise, if it isn't energizing for you, if it's not something that you're maybe necessarily like the most jazzed about, could you delegate? And delegating is a form of prioritizing. It creates space for you to do the things that are a higher priority for you or that maybe align.
more for you. And I recognize that this is not possible in every single job or every single setting, or even every household to be like, hey, this isn't my favorite thing. You do it. I get that. But it might be worth a conversation to say, hey, this isn't my skill set. This aligns more with your strengths. And would you consider doing this?
I know that's more of an ask than a delegation, but sometimes, especially in households, it's more of an ask than a delegation, right? So I was talking about this specific situation of like the challenge of prioritizing when everything feels urgent or nothing feels urgent with a client. And we came up with a great question that she uses to check in with herself because she's learning how to delegate. She has a small team.
and she's like, I want to make sure that I'm giving them enough, but not too much, right? And so a question that she asks herself is, does this task refill my cup or move a time sensitive project forward? If yes, I can keep it. If not, I can delegate it. So it's a check-in question for her, especially when she is in a busy season.
to be like, does this thing refill my cup? Does it give me energy? Is it something that I enjoy doing? Or is it so time sensitive that like I want ownership over it? Then I take it. If not, I delegate it to somebody on the team. And this directly connects with the fourth reason that delegating can be so challenging. If you're someone that experiences challenges with people pleasing or not wanting to...
you know, you're protective of your team, you don't want to overburden them or add too much to your plate, it's going to be hard to tell people to do things, right? Because you're like being protective. And episode 45 is all about people pleasing and the executive function challenges that relate to people pleasing. So if you haven't listened to that one and you're like, that's me, definitely go back and check that one out.
but if you're somebody that is a sensitive person, you're sensitive to other people, like highly sensitive, you might hesitate to delegate because you don't want to overwhelm your team or your colleagues. So instead you quietly take on too much for yourself, which can create frustration, overwhelm and potentially burnout. And so I think the strategy here is to reframe delegating as a form of trust and empowerment for your team.
You're not dumping work onto them, most likely. You're giving other people opportunities to grow, contribute, shine, use their strengths. And so one way to do that, to check in with yourself on that, would be asking, is there something small and concrete that I could hand off that would give this teammate a win, right? So it's a win-win.
they're gonna feel good about doing a task and moving something forward, and you're gonna feel good about getting something off of your plate and supporting somebody in the process. So delegating is not just like, hey, go do this thing. It's, hey, here's this opportunity to do this task and learn something in the process. Maybe they'll enjoy it, right? Maybe they won't. But I think that's part of the skill is the...
Like the emotional intelligence related to collaborating on a team and having those conversations and all of that is executive functioning.
and then that brings me right into challenge number five, which is communication challenges. So explaining the task might feel overwhelming or hard for you. So if you know, hey, I could pass this thing off to somebody, but you're dreading the process of getting them up to speed or feeling like it's going to take more time to explain it than it is for them to actually do it, that might be a barrier.
delegating because you're like, I'll just do it myself. Right. But this is where it's worth checking in to see if taking the time upfront is going to save future you time and energy. So is this a task that they're going to be repeatedly doing for you? So maybe it's an admin task, maybe it's a monthly task, a weekly task, right? So if that's the case, it's probably worth the time and energy upfront.
to communicate, train, get this person up to speed. And one way to do that might be creating a template or a menu or a training manual that they can refer back to. And then it might be something that you pass off to somebody else in the future too, right? So it definitely does take time and effort upfront. Delegation takes time, but the goal is that it's gonna save you time and energy.
on the other end. And I know I said there were only five reasons that I was going to talk about today, but I'm going to throw in this bonus number six reason that I've been alluding to this whole episode, which is feeling that it's just easier to do it yourself. And so whether that's related to executive functioning challenges, the time management piece, the planning piece, you're like, I don't want to think about that. Let me just push through and do it myself. Or if you're somebody who
maybe identifies as a perfectionist or a recovering perfectionist, or you want to have control over it. So you're like, I know I can get it done. I know how well I'll do it, right? So maybe that's the barrier of letting somebody else try or letting somebody else do it differently than how you would do it.
or again, the energy time piece of like, I don't want to put the energy and time right now in, even though it might potentially save you time and energy on the other end. So remembering that delegation is a long game. What might take you an extra 10 minutes today might save you hours in the future. And my favorite checking question is what is going to make the most impact? And so is taking that 10 minutes
to do some planning, have a conversation, delegate something. I know it's probably longer than 10 minutes, but is that going to save future you time? Is that going to make an impact? And it can be really hard to think about future you when current you is like, I'm overwhelmed, let me just get this off my plate. I do not need more time and energy and thinking power to try to figure out how to delegate this. I totally get that.
So it's taking a second to pause, do a little bit of breathing, regulate your nervous system and check in what is going to make the most impact for me right now. So before we wrap up, I'm gonna give you a couple of reflection questions if you're somebody that wants to apply what I talked about today to your real life, which I'm thinking many of you are doing. I'm gonna give you a couple of questions here that you can think about.
I will also put them in the blog post that goes with this episode. So first, I want you to think of a recent task that you did yourself. And this could be at home, at work, with family. And was there a piece of it that you could have delegated if you paused to think about it, if you had separated out planning from action?
What are some things that usually stop you from delegating? Is it time management, people pleasing, communication, something else? So again, checking in on what's keeping you stuck. What's one repeatable task in your life or in work that you could start building a delegation template for? And if you delegated even one small task this week,
How would that free up time or energy for something else that maybe matters more to you? So just a few things to think about. If you're a journaler, those might be some good journal prompts. And I just wanna wrap up by saying delegating does not come naturally for many people, especially if you struggle with executive functioning. It is not a sign that you're failing or that you're a bad leader.
or a bad employee or a bad family member, delegation is a skill that takes practice. And the more that you practice, the more that you'll free up time and energy for things that matter to you, things that align with you, things that you want to be taking action on. So small steps count, handing off one piece of a project counts. So the next time you catch yourself thinking, it's just easier if I do it myself.
pause and ask, is there one piece of this that I could delegate? Small shifts like that really do make a difference and add up over time. It's a skill that you're practicing. Keep reminding yourself that. Keep giving yourself credit. Thank you so much for listening. If this episode was helpful, please consider sharing it with a friend or a coworker who may experience challenges with delegating. They might need this reminder and support too.
So thank you so much for being here. Looking forward to chatting with you again next week.
