3 Mindset Shifts to Be More Consistent with ADHD
“How can I be more consistent?”
This is one of the most common questions I hear as an executive functioning and ADHD coach. Whether you are trying to be more consistent with laundry, yoga, or emails, this blog (and podcast episode) is going to help you shift your mindset about what it means to be consistent and how to keep up with things.
I know the title says I’m going to help you be consistent. And while I will share some insights about consistency today, it might not be what you expect. The twist: this episode (and this blog post) is actually about why it’s okay to not be perfectly consistent. Tricked ya!
Because here’s the truth: it’s basically impossible to be 100% consistent with habits, goals, systems, and routines. Things will pop up: illness, travel, burnout, deadlines, emergencies, distractions, and your routines will get interrupted. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human.
This post is about how to return to what matters. How to get back to the habit, the goal, or the structure you care about after a pause—without spiraling into shame or giving up entirely. It’s about creating a kinder, more realistic way of defining consistency so it actually works for your brain.
The Weight of the Word "Consistent"
I see and hear the word “consistent” a lot—and not just from clients. From friends, social media, entrepreneurs, and even from myself. Here are just a few examples of how it shows up:
“I have a hard time being consistent.”
“I want to build a consistent daily schedule so I don’t feel overwhelmed.”
“I want to show up in my business consistently.”
“I need to consistently food prep.”
“I want a consistent exercise routine.”
“I don’t have the discipline to be consistent.”
If any of those resonate with you, you're not alone. The desire to “be more consistent” is often tied to big values—growth, health, purpose—but the way we define and pursue consistency can sabotage us before we even start.
The Real Problem: All-or-Nothing Thinking
For many ADHDers and perfectionists, “consistency” becomes code for “I must do this every day or I’m failing.” And that definition is exhausting and unsustainable.
Most people are not 100% consistent—especially not the people you see on social media posting their highlight reels. Comparing your behind-the-scenes to their curated version of “consistency” is a trap.
Here’s the truth I’ve been saying on repeat lately: Life is going to life.
Things will interrupt your flow, your routines, your carefully built systems. That’s not a sign of failure. It’s normal.
What often makes it harder isn’t the interruption—it’s the self-talk that comes afterward. When you start “shoulding,” shaming, blaming, or guilting yourself for being off track, it makes it even more difficult to return. That critical inner dialogue becomes the real obstacle.
Mindset Shift #1: Redefine What Consistent Means
The Merriam-Webster definition of “consistent” includes: marked by harmony, regularity, or steady continuity.
Notice it doesn’t mention anything about how often you need to do something to be consistent.
Here’s the mindset shift I want you to try on:
Being consistent doesn’t mean you never stop. It means you come back.
If you feel too much pressure, maybe the word “consistent” just isn’t working for you anymore. Try one of these instead:
Committed – “I’m committed to this podcast.”
Connected – “My client is connected to her pottery business.”
Persistent – “Another client persists towards applying for jobs, even when applications happens in waves.”
Every time you come back to something—even if it’s been weeks or months—you are practicing consistency.
That return matters more than whether you did it daily.
Think about a yoga journey: you go regularly, then get sick or overwhelmed, and stop going. When you return? That’s consistency. That’s growth.
Mindset Shift #2: Stop Comparing Yourself… to Yourself
We all know comparing yourself to others is unhelpful. But what about comparing yourself to past versions of you?
This is something I’ve been talking about a lot with members of my ADHD coaching community, Stuck to Started. There’s a narrative that the only person you should compare yourself to is past-you—but even that can be harmful.
Yes, it can be helpful to see how far you’ve come. But if your brain is wired to scan for flaws and gaps, you might look back and just see all the ways you’ve “lost progress.”
Here’s a personal example: I minored in Spanish in college, studied abroad, and was conversationally fluent. Now? I’m rusty. I don’t have the same confidence or fluency.
But that doesn’t mean I failed. Relearning looks and feels different now—and that’s okay.
Just because you did something a certain way once, doesn’t mean it will look the same the next time. And it doesn’t need to.
Mindset Shift #3: Give Yourself Permission to Do Less
Yup. I said it.
If you’re a Type A, high-achieving, perfectionist, eldest-daughter, millennial kind of person (hi, same), this is especially for you:
You are allowed to do less.
Intensity doesn’t define consistency. You don’t need to do 90 minutes of power yoga for it to “count”.
You don’t need to do the full routine to be consistent:
Brushed your teeth and grabbed a granola bar? That’s part of your morning routine.
Went for a short walk instead of a long run? That still counts as exercise.
Too tired to record a podcast? A five-minute brain dump still moves the project forward.
Consistency is more about momentum than perfection. A lot of little steps over time end up creating big progress.
If you’re putting massive pressure on yourself to do more, be better, and finally “get consistent,” that internal pressure is likely what’s holding you back. That self-talk doesn’t fuel you—it drains you.
Taking the pressure off and giving yourself permission to return without guilt actually makes it easier to rebuild momentum. You’ll feel less stuck and more empowered to take the next small step.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve been trying to be consistent with a goal, habit, or system—and haven’t quite been able to keep it up—this is your reminder:
You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t even have to be daily.
What matters is that you keep returning.
You’re not starting over. You’re continuing. And every time you come back, you’re reinforcing a more flexible, compassionate version of consistency that actually works for your life.
In the next blog, I’ll be diving into what to do when your systems stop working for you—whether it's how you plan, manage time, or prioritize tasks—and how to reboot them in a way that fits your current season.
Curious about joining the Stuck to Started coaching membership?
-
Sarah Lovell (00:01)
How can I be more consistent? This is a theme I am consistently hearing as an executive function and ADHD coach.
and I have some unexpected thoughts and suggestions for you today. I know the podcast title says I'm gonna share strategies to help you be more consistent, but this episode is actually going to be about why it's okay to not be consistent. I tricked you. It is essentially impossible to be 100 % consistent with habits, goals, systems, and routines.
Life is always going to throw something at you that knocks you off your consistency game. So this episode is all about how to get back to the thing that you want to be consistent with when you pause, stop, or are avoiding it, and how to be kinder to yourself in the process.
We're our break.
ahem
I see and hear the word consistent a lot in my job as an executive function coach and an ADHD coach. That's one of the reasons that clients reach out to work with me is this question of how can I be more consistent? You know, I hear people say all the time, I have a hard time being consistent. I want to create a consistent daily schedule where I don't feel overwhelmed. I want to be consistent with exercise.
I want to show up in my business consistently. I have a hard time picturing myself being consistent. I don't have the discipline to be consistent, right? And so I share those because if you feel this way or you struggle with this thought or experience, you are not alone. And before I jump into this episode, I want you to just take a second right now to pause and reflect.
on your relationship with the word consistent. Like when you hear me say that, does anything come up for you? Are there emotions coming up? Do you feel anything in your body? Is there a specific action, routine, goal, system or situation that immediately pops into your head? Maybe it's something that you want to be.
doing more of or something that you're picturing yourself, like I want to do this consistently. And if so, I want you to think about that as we're walking through this episode and as I share my personal reflections on being consistent and just see how that connects with you. You do not need to have something in mind while you're listening to this episode, but if this is a topic that really resonates with you and you have something specific,
Just be thinking about that as we go through this episode and I'll prompt you again at the end with some action items that you can take and a new way to think about your particular thing that you are wanting to be consistent with. And then as a friendly reminder, take what's helpful from this episode, leave what isn't and adjust it to fit into your life. There is no one size fits all strategy system. I'm sharing some of my like
personal opinions in this episode. So if you don't agree with me or it doesn't connect with you, that's okay. Just take what's helpful, leave the rest. ⁓ And then one more ⁓ thing before we jump in. I totally understand that there are some things in life where it is imperative to be consistent, like medication management and maybe things more related to health. And that is not what I'm...
talking about in this episode, when you hear me say you don't need to be consistent, it's okay. ⁓ I understand that there are some things that really do need consistency. And when that comes up with my clients, I support them in creating realistic systems and safety nets to help them be as consistent as they can be with those things. ⁓ So I'm just throwing that out there. If you're like, Sarah, no, this is a thing that I have to do, it, you know, especially if it's medically related.
that's different than what I'm talking about today. Today I'm talking more about like goals, routines, even like the systems you're using to do the things that you want and need to do. And so part of the reason that being consistent is really challenging first connects with your self-talk and what your brain is telling you.
And you've heard me say this before, self-talk is the foundation of your executive functioning. So if your brain is throwing around a lot of shoulds, or there's some shame or some guilt or you know, statements like, oh, I can, I can never keep up with this or I start, but then I always stop or fail. That impacts your ability to keep momentum going.
It also impacts your ability to come back to whatever that thing is that you want to be consistent with. And so all or nothing thinking and perfectionism, if that's popping up for you, that is what is defining what it means to be consistent. And this is where I get a little controversial. ⁓ I don't think you need to do something
every day, every morning, every week, whatever timeframe you're setting for yourself, 100 % of the time to be consistent. I know that is technically the definition of the word, but I'm going to share a different way for you to think about this word and redefining it for yourself. ⁓ I've been saying this a lot lately in my personal life and with clients, like life is going to life. And what I mean by that is,
things are always going to pop up in both expected and unexpected ways and throw a wrench into your routines and impact the momentum towards your goals or like basically cause you to drop off using the systems that you've been using to make it all happen. And so I'm gonna share three, I think it's three, yeah, three strategies.
different frameworks to think about being consistent. So the first one is literally redefining the word consistent for yourself. And I talk about this a lot in my episodes that like if a word isn't working for you, it's okay to change it. Cause like I said, the words we use impact how we think, how we feel and how we take action. So I have redefined consistent for myself.
and some of my clients have grasped onto this and taken it into their life, I think of it less about the ability to, you know, do something constantly and more about being consistent with coming back to the thing. And that to me just feels better because I know things are going to interrupt my life. And so for me, it's more important to come back.
to my goal or to my routine or to my system than to try to force myself to keep up with it when it isn't the right fit or to shame myself when I stop doing something because life has lifed. And so I was curious about the actual definition of the word consistent. So I Googled it and good old Merriam-Webster defines consistent as marked by harmony, regularity,
or steady continuity. That's a nice definition. But then one of the other parts of it is free from variation. Free from variation, which I immediately was like, ugh, yuck. ⁓ I like variety. I like change. My brain wants variety. And I'm neurotypical.
⁓ And so if you're neurodiverse, your brain might crave even more variety or your brain might crave even more structure, right? There's a whole spectrum of how brains are wired, right? But if you hear that like free from variation and also have that ick feeling that I had, then I think reframing the definition and using some different words might be supportive for you.
And if you've never tried picking a new word for something, I challenge you to try it for this. So if you're trying to be consistent with something, maybe change what you're telling yourself. So here are some words that you can choose from, or you can hop on Google or ask ChatGPT, get creative with it. But three words that I ⁓ really like instead are committed, persistent, and connected.
And so I'll give you an example of how each of those can connect or be substituted for the word consistent. So I'm committed to this podcast. Yes, an episode so far has come out every single week, which technically is the definition of consistent. But the way that I record episodes, the way that I plan for this podcast is anything but consistent. It is not.
It is not marked by regularity, steady continuity, and free from variation. I ebb and flow when I work on this podcast. I change up when I do my brainstorming. Like literally today I was out on a walk and had an idea for a podcast episode and recorded a voice memo for it. Other times I sit like on a spur of the moment, like I wasn't even trying to think about work, but it just popped up, right? Other times I sit down and I'm like, okay, let's brainstorm.
Right? That's not a consistent process and that is okay. And that is good because that is what works for my brain. I am connected to the process of creating my podcast, even if I'm not consistent. I have a client who is connected to her pottery business. She loves making pottery and she is not consistent with it. ⁓ if you're a creative,
you might connect, you might connect with this. ⁓ She's like, sometimes my creativity goes through these like, Wayne and wax, like sometimes I really want to get into the studio. Sometimes I end up avoiding the studio. There are some pieces of my pottery process that I absolutely love doing. There are some pieces that are, you know, I have to do, but I really don't want to. And so she is not consistent with her pottery practice, but she is connected to it. And she,
makes it part of her life, even if it isn't consistent. So there are some weeks where she doesn't touch her pottery at all and even longer periods of time. And then there's times where she's like, can't stop, can't stop, won't stop. So she's not consistent, but she is connected. And then, do I have another example here? me look at my notes. Yes, I have another client who is persisting.
towards the goal of getting a new job. So if you've ever been, most of us can relate to this, if you've been in the job hunt process, you know it is stressful, it can be overwhelming, it can feel really discouraging if you're not hearing back from people or if you're going on interviews but not getting jobs. And so this client has been working on this job hunt process and application process.
and persisting.
They have not been consistent in that they're not doing applications every day, or they're not getting on Indeed every week, but they're persisting where they come back to it. They give themself permission to take a break. They have periods of lots of activity, tons of cover letter writing, and then they're like, ⁓ my gosh, I am overwhelmed. I need some breathing room. And then they return to it, right? So all three of these examples,
Even though it's not the true definition of consistent, where consistency is popping up is that all of us are coming back to the thing that we want or need to do. So you're allowed to change the word that you use. You're allowed to change the definition.
It also does not need to be all or nothing to be consistent. Intensity does not equal consistency. So you, let me give you some examples of this. Because sometimes we think if I'm not doing the whole thing, I'm not being consistent or it doesn't count, right? That self-talk sneaks in. And so this is where we wanna challenge that self-talk in a gentle way and reframe it. So if you're someone who you're like, I, you you,
I need to do my whole morning routine for it to count or for it to be considered a morning routine.
Not true. ⁓ If you do a piece of your morning routine, if you brush your teeth and you grab a granola bar as you're running out the door, that counts. Give yourself credit for the pieces that you are doing, even if it's not the whole thing. So another example, ⁓ if one of your goals is to be more consistent with exercise, you do not need to do your full workout.
or the workout that you had initially planned for it to count. So I was talking about this with a client recently and the goal was to go running and they woke up, had had, they were exhausted, they'd had a crazy busy week, they didn't sleep well, the weather wasn't great. And so it was like, really feeling connected or motivated to get out and go for a run. And so instead of
doing, going for a run, they adjusted their goal and their expectations of themselves and still did some movement. Doing stretches, doing a 10 minute yoga video, that still counts and that's still moving you towards, you know, your goal of more movement or more exercise. Also, taking a rest day counts. You're allowed to rest, right?
So doing something related to your goal, like I just said, counts. So when I'm too tired to write an outline for this podcast, I'll spend a few minutes brain dumping, and that is still moving my podcast forward. It's more about momentum than being fully consistent. And I just wanna reiterate, giving yourself permission to take breaks supports you in coming back to the goal without...
shame or guilt or at least less of that, those emotions popping up, right? And always we're practicing that reframe, that positive self-talk, especially when those automatic negative thoughts pop up, right? We wanna acknowledge them, meet them with kindness and give ourselves a friendly reminder there. So that is the first strategy to kind of...
change your relationship with the word consistent is to redefine what it means and to start shifting how you think about it.
Okay, the second strategy is to stop comparing yourself to yourself. This is something I've been talking about a lot in my coaching membership, Stuck to Started. ⁓ And kind of the conversation that we've been having is there's this idea that you shouldn't compare yourself to other people, which yeah, valid. ⁓ But then the second part of that is that
you only have yourself to compare yourself to. And I don't know how helpful that is. I think it can be helpful to look back if you're doing this comparison of yourself to yourself and you're focusing on growth and you're focusing on, look at that challenge that I overcame. Wow, look at that thing I wanna give myself credit for. That type of comparison.
is supportive. But our brains are not really wired to have that be the first thought unless you've done lots of work on that. Our brains are wired to look for what's not going well and really like put a spotlight on that for yourself, which is kind of rude. ⁓ But reality. And so
I want to remind you, or if this is a totally new thought that you're digesting for the first time, you do not need to compare yourself to yourself if it is not supportive. So just because you did something a certain way once and it was good and great and wonderful and you loved it doesn't mean it's going to be that way when you're returning to it. If you've had a period away, a pause, a stop.
or some avoidance. So for example, I'll give you like a kind of out there example. ⁓ I minored in Spanish in college. I studied abroad in Costa Rica and Spain. I lived with host families and I was conversationally fluent in Spanish. And then I left school and didn't stay connected to Spanish. And so there was a
big window years where I was not studying, listening, speaking or writing in Spanish. And what they say is true. If you don't use it, you lose it. And so my Spanish, like I was super, super, super rusty. And I wanted to reconnect with Spanish. And so I was in my head, I was like, well, I learned it so quickly and so confidently in my twenties.
I should, red flag, I should be able to just pick it back up. Like if I just study a little bit, like I'll get back into it. That did not happen for me. ⁓ And it felt very different. ⁓ Getting back into learning Spanish now is more effort. It's a different phase of my life. I have different things going on. I'm learning it in a different way. I'm not as immersed in it.
And, but like this feeling of like, I should be able to get back to that, right? It should look and feel the way that it did 10 plus years ago. ⁓ it sounds old to math that. ⁓ But so that is a reminder that like the way that I felt studying it in my 20s is going to look and feel different in my 30s. I'll give you another super quick example. You've heard me talk on the podcast about my relationship with yoga and getting back into yoga.
and kind of the hurdles that it took for me to like get to a yoga studio and get to classes. And I built up a pretty consistent practice. Like I was going at least once or twice a week and then I started going more and then I got sick. And rightfully, I took a week off from yoga because I don't want to spread germs. And also I wasn't in a space to like go do exercise like that.
And when I went to return, like I was like, okay, like I'm feeling better. I like felt some resistance to go to yoga. Like it was almost like back in the beginning when I had to like convince myself to go. I wanted to go, but my brain was like, don't do it. Do something else instead. Like path of least resistance, right? So sometimes it's like even that can come back up again, right? Like, so noticing that it's okay for things to look and feel different.
If it's, don't compare yourself to yourself in those, in those ways, in those examples. The third and final strategy or reframe or thing to think about is give yourself permission to do less or to do things differently. Yep. I said it. Give yourself permission to do less or to do things differently. If you are a type A overachieving,
Perfectionist, I am especially talking to you. Bonus points if you are also an eldest daughter and millennial like myself. If you're putting tons of pressure on yourself to do more, to do better, to be more consistent, that self-talk is holding you back and creating more stress. And so if you...
have a pause, a stop, or you're avoiding getting back into that thing that you want to be doing, taking the pressure off actually makes it easier to return to that thing. So what I mean by that is if, I mean, like my yoga example, my Spanish example are great ones where it was like, okay, I'm not going to be conversational. It's okay for me to just focus on
revamping my vocabulary and then moving into conjugations. Whew, tough, right? So instead of being like, okay, I have to do all of this to get back to my Spanish. Like, no, I'm just starting with the smallest, lightest lift for me, which was vocab and relearning words or learning new words. So this gets us out of that all or nothing thinking, especially if you're like, okay, I used to do this every day.
starting today, I do this every day again, pressure, pressure, pressure, take that off, right? And give yourself permission to say, okay, I'm just gonna focus on restarting today and I'm not gonna worry about doing the whole thing. I'm going to identify this really small starting point. So I'll give another example, full of examples today. My client with the pottery studio and her pottery business,
when she has been away from the studio for a while and she wants to go back but feels that resistance or feels that pressure, we take the pressure off by saying, the goal isn't to throw today or the goal isn't to glaze today. The goal is to just walk back into the studio and feel the feels and to look around and maybe pick whatever the lightest lift is that you feel connected to. Cause that was her word, connected.
Not consistent, connected. So take the pressure off. All right, we're wrapping up. You've been hanging out with me for a while. This is a longer episode. I appreciate you being here. So just a quick circle back. If you thought of a habit, a routine, a goal, or a system at the beginning of this episode that you've been trying to do consistently or you want to get back into, I want you to just take a second to think about that thing again right now. And what is...
one way that you can be kinder to yourself as you navigate continuing or returning to that goal? Can you give yourself permission to stop worrying about being consistent in the way that our society has framed it for ourselves?
Can you start focusing on giving yourself credit when you slowly, gently, and kindly return to getting back on track or taking gentle action with that goal?
And this is hard. This is hard stuff. So give yourself credit for even listening to this podcast episode. Give yourself credit for thinking about these things, for reflecting on these things, for being here. ⁓ The next episode, I'm going to talk about what to do if your systems stop working for you. So when I say systems, I mean, you know, the way that you're keeping track of your calendar or the way that you're managing your time or the way that you are planning, organizing, prioritizing.
getting started on things, those systems, the executive functioning systems. ⁓ And so this is normal. This happens, this is part of it, that we use a system, it works for a while, and then something happens and it just drops off, you stop using it or it stops working. That happens. And so next episode, I'm gonna talk to you about how to return to that system or how to tweak it.
so that it fits what your life looks like. So thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate you. If this episode connected with you, resonated with you, if there's somebody in your life that you think would also benefit, please consider sharing this episode with them. Thank you so much. Have a great day.
