What to Do When Your Systems Stop Working: How to Develop Good Habits
What to Do When Your Systems Stop Working: How to Develop Good Habits
How to be consistent with ADHD, even when your habits, routines, and systems fall apart
If you’ve ever created a system that felt life-changing—only to stop using it a few weeks later—you are not alone. Developing a good habit that actually sticks can be difficult. And more importantly, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
Let’s talk about the full life cycle of a system, why even the best ones can fall apart, and what to do when that happens.
Why It's Hard to Be Consistent with ADHD
Systems aren't designed to last forever, especially if your brain craves novelty. That new planner, app, or color-coded to-do list might feel amazing at first, thanks to the dopamine rush of something new. I call this the honeymoon period. But over time, things change—your schedule, your energy, your needs—and suddenly, that once-perfect system just doesn’t work anymore.
Sometimes the drop-off is gradual. Other times, you stop overnight and don’t even realize it until weeks later. This is normal. Whether it’s a loss of novelty or a shift in your routine, the system isn’t the problem—it just needs to be tweaked or swapped out to fit your current life.
How to Be Consistent with Systems & Habits When Motivation Drops
After the initial excitement fades, you might hit a plateau. This is where I encourage clients to look for “pink flags”—subtle signs that your system might be losing its spark. Why “pink flags?” Because they are the subtle warning signs that pop up before the actual “red flag” emerges. Catching this early gives you the chance to make small adjustments instead of waiting until everything falls apart.
How to Develop A Good Habit that Actually Sticks (by changing things up & coming back to it)
Being consistent with ADHD doesn’t mean sticking to one rigid system forever. It means knowing how to return to a system that works—or knowing when to adapt it.
I worked with an ADHD coaching client to create a simple end-of-day system to help her feel less overwhelmed at work. Each afternoon before she left the office, she would write down a few quick starting points for the next day and review them in the morning using Google Tasks on her phone. It helped her brain get going before she even got to her desk, and it made starting work feel more manageable. The system worked beautifully for a while—until her schedule changed and she started having more late-day meetings. She no longer had the time or capacity to do the afternoon wrap-up, and the whole system fell apart.
Instead of scrapping everything, we problem-solved together. We identified what made the system helpful, what wasn’t working anymore, and how to shift it. In this new, updated system, she kept a running to-do list on a sticky note throughout the day and left it on her desk. In the morning, after taking some time to regulate her nervous system & ground herself for work, she’d review the sticky note and plan her day before jumping in. It was a small adjustment, but it made a big difference. That’s the real secret: your systems and habits need to flex with your life—not the other way around.
The Secret to Consistent Habits is Allowing for Change
Ask yourself:
What about the system was working for me?
What stopped working—and why?
What do I need right now? What type of system will feel good?
Then decide—do you want to tweak the current system, or is it time to swap it out completely?
ADHD-Friendly Systems Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Work
Whether you're using sticky notes, voice memos, digital tools, or a mix of everything, your system doesn't need to be pretty or conventional. It just needs to work for you. That might mean rotating tools seasonally, switching between paper and digital, or having multiple planners. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is that the system supports you & is truly a form of self-care.
You don’t need to be consistent with habits, routines, or systems in the traditional sense. You just need a plan for how to come back when life throws you off track. That’s what it means to be consistent with ADHD—giving yourself the flexibility to pivot and the self-trust to return.
Not sure how to create systems that work for you? Check out the free ADHD Action Plan Private podcast where I teach you a formula to get unstuck!
Curious about working with an executive function coach?
-
Sarah Lovell (00:02.136)
Today we're talking about what to do when your systems stop working. If you've ever used a system that has worked great for a while and then totally fell off, you are not alone and you are not doing it wrong. The truth is systems are not meant to last forever, especially if your brain craves novelty. So today I'm exploring why your favorite system suddenly stopped working, what to do when your routines and habits fall apart.
and how to adjust instead of abandon what you've been doing. You do not need to be consistent with your systems. You just need strategies that flex with your brain. So let's jump in.
Sarah Lovell (00:48.184)
So I am excited to be continuing the conversation about what it means to be consistent, shifting the definition of consistent, how you think about it and.
really challenging the idea that you need to do something consistently for it to be successful. So if you haven't already listened to episode 35, three mindset shifts to be more consistent with ADHD, I highly recommend checking that episode out at some point. I've gotten really good feedback from people who emailed me the day it came out to tell me that it connected with them, being like, my God, this is me.
I didn't have a name for this challenge. Like the words you use were really helpful. So I'm a huge fan. If you've been here for a while, you know, I'm all about changing the words you use, changing how you think about things. And so we're continuing that conversation today. because this is a, something that comes up with a lot of my clients is this challenge of, how can I be more consistent with my systems? How can I, once I find something that works for me, how can I keep doing it?
And like I talked about in the last episode, my whole thing with being consistent is that the focus doesn't need to be on how can I keep doing it. That's not the thing that we're like putting 100 % of the focus on. It's really important to have a plan to come back to the system or to change the system to fit your life when something inevitably, inevitably pops up and throws a wrench in it.
because that is what happens, that is reality. And so first, what do I mean when I say systems? So when I'm today, when I'm talking about systems, I'm talking about the tools, systems, processes, habits, routines that you use basically to do your executive functioning every day, managing your time, planning, organizing, prioritizing, keeping track of things.
Sarah Lovell (02:58.85)
taking action and taking projects across the finish line. And if you're listening to that and you're like, Sarah, I do not have systems or my systems do not work for me and that's why I listened to your podcast, I want to validate you this episode is still worth listening to. And you're not alone with that feeling of like, I don't have systems that help me with that. So.
we were all basically given the exact same set of systems in K through 12. Write a to-do list, use a calendar, and set some alarms on your phone. And those don't work for everybody. That is not enough for most people. That doesn't match what your brain is looking for. And so if you keep trying over and over again to use systems and they're not working for you, or you haven't figured out what to try, you are not alone. It's not you.
It's that you just don't have the right systems yet. And that takes patience, time, practice, repetition, and kindness to yourself. And that's exactly what my goal is for this podcast, like all my episodes, is to share different resources, share different ways to think about things so that you can pick and choose what might be helpful for you and tweak it to fit your life and your brain. And that's exactly what an executive function coach helps with.
That's what I do with my clients in one-on-one work and in my coaching membership is come up with unique systems. So I just want to like, before we jump in, because today I am talking about like once you have something that you like or that is working for you, how to keep up with it, how to come back to it, how to tweak it. But if you're like, I'm not there yet, it's okay. But this can be a helpful episode to have in your toolbox.
to tweak the things that are in your life. Because a lot of times clients, when I ask them, what systems do you currently use, they're like, I have no idea what you're talking about, literally none. A very common answer is a calendar alarm, seven planners, and lots of scraps of paper that I lose track of. Or sometimes I'll get the occasional answer of like, I have this very elaborate system that I came up with.
Sarah Lovell (05:16.76)
and I'm in love with it and it changed my life, I'm gonna do it forever, but then something happens and you stop using it and maybe even forget that that was something that you did. And that is also common. So I wanna, you fall into the category of like, I did this thing, it changed my life, it was super helpful and then I just stopped doing it, I wanna normalize that for you because this is...
the life cycle of a system. Systems are not meant to last forever, especially if your brain wants novelty. So when you get a new system, whether that's a literal, like new physical planner, like think of like January, right? The exciting target trip down the planner aisle and you find one that's beautiful and you love how it looks and how it feels and new pens, like you can't wait to use it.
and you use it for a week, whether it's something like that or finding a new app, something like Notion or Todoist or Llama Life, right? There's no shortage of apps and systems out there. When you find something new and connect with it, your brain gets dopamine. And I call this the honeymoon period of a system.
because basically you are excited about it, you're obsessed with it, you're like, this is the thing that's finally gonna click and change my life. And it works like that for a little bit because of dopamine, because of novelty. And then there's this plateau that tends to happen where it's not as exciting anymore. Maybe you're using it a little bit differently. Maybe there starts to be this like resistance to use it.
or less excitement, whatever that might be. And this is where I talk with clients about looking for pink flags. It's before the red flag. But this pink flag happens after the honeymoon period when you're in the plateau. And this is where we can look at, okay, if the dopamine is dropping off, what is it about the system that's helpful? How can we keep that going? How can we add in more novelty? And I'm gonna share
Sarah Lovell (07:41.006)
I don't know how many tips or strategies they have. Maybe it's like five or six today. But that's what I'm going to share in this episode is like what you can do to keep systems fresh and to come back to them. So we look for those pink flags. But if you miss the pink flags and basically the system gets stale or isn't as exciting, it's boring, whatever it is.
a drop off happens and that can be gradual. Maybe you slowly start using it less or differently or it could be overnight where you wake up one day and then you never touch that system ever again. I've literally had clients tell me like I forgot I used to use the system until I start asking questions about what they've done in the past and they're like, my God, I completely forgot that that thing existed, right? That is normal. And so,
That is one reason that systems stop working is that they're not as new and exciting anymore. Another reason that systems stop working or they might drop off is that your situation changes. And so I'll give a client example of this. So a client I was working with one-on-one, she needed a system to help keep track of what was going on with her work projects.
so that when she came into work the next day, she like had an idea of what she could start on, because she was basically paralyzed being like, I have so much I could do. I'm not sure what to pick up or how to get started. And so she was kind of like getting to her desk at work and being overwhelmed and then not doing anything. So a system that we came up with was doing this end of the day wrap up where she would write herself a couple of quick starting points that she could choose from the following day.
And then the following morning, before she went to work at her home, she would open up her Google Tasks on her phone just to kind of orient herself, get her brain going a little bit. And then she would commute to work and be able to sit down and jump right in, which worked really well for her brain. I'll repeat, just as a friendly reminder, if you hear me share systems and tools, I want you to know it's not a one-size-fits-all system.
Sarah Lovell (10:00.768)
If there was one tool that worked for everybody, they would have sold it to us, whoever they are, and we'd all buy it and be doing the same thing. whenever you hear me share tools, systems, ideas, if I haven't already said it this episode yet, take what's helpful for you that you want to try it out, tweak it to fit for you, and leave what isn't helpful. So I just wanted to do a quick pivot there to remind you that just because you hear me share something on here.
does not mean it's like the answer or the system, right? This was something that a client and I spent some time designing specifically for her. And so she did this system for months and was like, it's taking the pressure off. It's really helping me get started with more ease in the morning. feel like less things are falling through the cracks. And it was a relatively simple system. But then one day she just stopped doing it.
And she came to the coaching session and was like, Sarah, I have something I need to tell you. I have not done the system in a week since we last met. I am like, things are messy and I'm overwhelmed and feels like life is falling apart at work. And so we met that with like curiosity of like, all right, let's explore, you know, why this happened, what's going on. And so after some...
back and forth conversation, we realized that she had a schedule change and she was starting to have more meetings at the end of the day. And so her day was wrapping up more abruptly. She had less time to do this reflection before she left work to pick up her kids. And so she basically, the schedule change created some overwhelm, which meant that she abandoned the system.
And rightfully so, because things happen, right? You do not need to keep systems. But what we did was we problem solved and we figured out why it wasn't working. What was it about the system that was helpful for her and how she could tweak it moving forward? And so for her, we shifted it to, during the day, she kept like a running list on a sticky note that traveled with her through the office. And then at the end of the day, she left it on her desk. And instead of reviewing it at home,
Sarah Lovell (12:25.866)
She gave herself more time in the morning to regulate her nervous system, do self-care, be present, and then had time when she got to her desk to do this planning and reflection and check in before she jumped into her work day. And so that tweak worked for her. And that tweak may not last forever. That might just be a season of life, right? Like that's the thing with systems is they need to be able to change with what's going on in your life.
So let's talk about some more concrete things that you can take away from this episode and apply to your systems. So I might repeat myself here on some of these, but repetition is good. Helps it get into our brains, right? So I wanna normalize shifting your system. Switching systems is not a failure. If you had a system that worked really well for you and you stopped using it because things changed,
That is good. I'm gonna repeat that. It basically, if your system fit for one period of your life and doesn't fit for another, it's okay to change it, to do something new, to leave it behind. I know I'm talking about like, don't abandon it, but sometimes we do. Sometimes we need to abandon the system for a new thing that's going to fit. And this is where sometimes there can be self-doubt.
Or a lack of confidence of like, no, like am I making the right? Am I using the right system? Is this the the best fit for me? Is this the most efficient thing? Is this the right system? And I always support people on I always support clients with that line of questioning of like well, is it fitting for you right now? It doesn't need to be your forever system and that's okay So some questions that can help you reflect on your system
What is it about the system or routine that was serving you? What did you like about it? What wasn't a fit anymore? And that doesn't mean it won't be a fit forever, but maybe it's like I said, just for this season of life or what you've got going on. And with those two data points of what you liked and what isn't working, how can you either tweak the system a little bit so it better fits for you right now, or do you want to completely overhaul it?
Sarah Lovell (14:52.78)
and bring in a new system. And systems can be swappable or seasonal, right? So like a morning routine might rotate or change based on your energy. That could be day by day, week by week, season by season. So it might be related to if you're someone with a menstrual cycle, it might be where you are in your cycle. If you're someone with kids, it might be, they in school? Are they home for the summer?
If you're somewhere where the sunlight drastically changes between winter and summer, your morning routines might look very different. You might also use different tools based on how busy life is. So an example of this is I have a client who in a busy season tries to do everything digital so that they can track it literally wherever they are. But they really prefer
handwritten stuff and so when life slows down a little bit they lean more heavily on their handwritten systems. Another thing I talk about with clients is permission to make your system weird, different, out there. You can create unconventional systems as long as they work for you. If, I feel like sometimes there can be this like, well this isn't what works for other people or other people aren't doing this.
That's okay. If it works for you, then it works, period. So a couple of examples of this. These are not even like the weirdest examples I could share, but like you can use voice notes instead of writing a to-do list and like listen to your voice note back if you're somebody who's a verbal processor. You do not need to have a beautifully organized to-do list. I have some clients who have like planners that are
stickers and scrap paper and sticky notes. And so if it works for your brain, it works for you. And that is my favorite thing as a coach is helping people come up with systems that align with their brains. I think another shift that can be helpful when thinking about systems is that systems are meant to support you and not feel like a punishment.
Sarah Lovell (17:16.878)
If you're somebody who you're like, thrive on flexibility, I need to go with the flow, I wanna fly by the seat of my pants, I need to follow the dopamine, there are systems that allow you to do that. And so the system, I think sometimes even the word, right? Like if the word system brings up stress for you, call it something different. But...
For me, when I talk about systems with clients, it's not about being like super productive or that's not the focus. The focus is on how to help you feel more grounded, how to help you feel good in how you're getting things done and keeping track of things. And so for me, a good system feels good. And it's a system truly is a form of self-care.
So before we wrap up, I'll share an example from my own life that I think when I've shared with clients before, they're like, my gosh, that's nice to hear. So as a friendly reminder, I am neurotypical. I do not have ADHD. But my brain is a brain that does crave some novelty. And I always tell people every brain is different. I'm not comparing my brain to other brains. But.
The way that I do systems, oops, the dogs are barking, hang on.
I'm just gonna restart that section. All right, guys, you're gonna have to bear with me too. There's a little bit of construction going on in the background. I'm hoping we can, actually, I won't even acknowledge that. So before I wrap up, I wanna share an example from my own life that when I've shared with clients, they've found to be helpful to hear and validating. Before I share it, I would just wanna friendly reminder that
Sarah Lovell (19:22.282)
Every single brain is different. Every person is different. And so just because I'm sharing something that works for me, it does not mean that it needs to work for you. You can always just kind of take it, try it, or be like, no, for sure that's not a fit for me. But this is kind of an example of what I'm talking about today. So for me, for my brain, I like systems where I can write things down. So I'm a low tech girly. I do use some apps.
but I'm a paper and pen person. And so I basically know that I have to rotate where and how I write things down because my brain does crave some novelty. And so even though I'm neurotypical, even though I don't have ADHD, and so I have different systems that I can switch between. So I have a big,
plain paper notebook that I can use. I have a daily planner. I have a whiteboard. I have giant, giant sheets of paper that I can hang for when I'm doing brain dumping and things like that. And then I also have electronic versions that I use that still feel like a good fit for me. So like my Google Keep, my Google Docs, those types of things. And I let myself bounce.
between these systems. So sometimes I'm using many of them at the same time. Sometimes I will go months without touching my whiteboard. Sometimes I will put down my notebook or my planner and not touch it and not use it. But I'm using another system that still meets that need of writing things down and being able to find what I've written down.
That's something I support a lot of clients with on. If you're somebody where you're like, have seven planners, but I can't keep track of what I wrote down or where I put it or whatever. If having multiple, if writing things down in multiple places works for your brain to a certain extent, then it's about figuring out, okay, what additional support or system is gonna help me keep track of these things or allow me to bounce between them in a way that feels more comfortable. So I just wanted to share that as like,
Sarah Lovell (21:42.954)
validation if you're like, should use one system because that's something I've heard a lot of clients say is like, I should just use one system because it'll be easier for me. But even if a system is easier, it might not be the right fit for what your brain is actually looking for. And so it's about figuring out how can you create ease, more ease in the systems that your brain is actually craving. So
I will wrap up today's episode with a few reminders and takeaways. The first one being that you do not need to be consistent with systems. The thing about systems is that it's more important to have a plan and a strategy to come back when life interrupts it or to be able to pivot to something new because you're allowed to change your systems. Your systems do not need to work for anybody else except you.
Like I've said, my clients have come up with some doozy systems, like creative out there, really fun systems. And you don't need to compare your systems to other people's. So give yourself permission to ebb and flow with your systems, be patient and kind with yourself as you figure out what works for you. And as you shift and change your systems as life shifts and changes. And if you're...
listening to this episode and being like, I don't know how to create systems that work for me, or I don't know how to return to my systems after they've stopped working or after a period of time away. That is exactly what I support clients with in my coaching membership, Stuck2Started. That's exactly what the workshops and hot seat coaching calls are all about. It's an opportunity to get live support with me on a call.
each workshop each month is basically me sharing new systems to try and helping you individualize it because it's a small community. You know, we have enough right now, there's enough, there's, how am I trying to say this? There's a small enough group on the call that I'm able to answer everybody's questions and to offer individualized support. So it's different than one-on-one coaching. It's not the,
Sarah Lovell (24:05.568)
same level of intensity of one-on-one coaching, but the people who are in my membership and coming to live calls are getting individualized support right now. So if you are curious about Stuck2Started, send me a message. Let's chat. We'll see if it's a good fit for you. And then a friendly reminder, if you listen to this podcast episode and you're like, I need a visual of this,
Every solo episode I do is also a blog post on my website and the link to that is in the show notes and the link to learn more about the membership stuck to started is also in the show notes. So thank you so much for being here today and I will talk to you again soon.
