The Real Reason Everyday Tasks Overwhelm You (And What to Do About It)
Have you ever stared at your to-do list and felt completely overwhelmed by something as basic as replying to an email or emptying the dishwasher?
If you have ADHD or struggle with executive functioning, you’re definitely not alone. What seems like a “simple everyday task” isn’t always easy, especially when your brain has to juggle multiple steps at once.
Why Some “Simple” Tasks Feel So Hard for ADHDers
This week, I was talking with a client who kept putting off scheduling a dentist appointment. On her to-do list, it simply said “call the dentist,” but what we quickly realized is that it wasn’t a one-step task.
Like many individuals with ADHD or executive function challenges, she was stuck because of all the invisible steps involved before making the call—finding her new insurance card, checking her schedule, and mustering the energy to pick up the phone.
For her, the challenge was real, and acknowledging those extra steps helped her take action.
When your executive functioning skills are impacted, even a seemingly straightforward task can feel like climbing a mountain. Recognizing the hidden steps can be the key to overcoming procrastination and overwhelm.
How Breaking Down Everyday Tasks Helps with Executive Functioning
Take the task of “call the dentist” as an example. While it seems straightforward, your brain—especially if you have ADHD—needs to navigate several steps before you can even get started. Here’s how we broke it down:
Find the new insurance card – She had to search through her junk drawer and wallet.
Check her schedule – She got her calendar ready & had a few “ideal times” she could request (but she also knew she might need to move things around in her schedule to make it work)
Prepare to make the call – Phone anxiety is common and it took some mental energy to make the call.
Be flexible with the plan – Since there’s no “perfect time” for the appointment, she had to practice some flexible thinking.
By breaking down each step, we made the task feel more manageable.
For people with ADHD, breaking tasks into smaller chunks can reduce overwhelm and help improve executive functioning. If you catch yourself saying, “This should be easy,” remember—it’s okay if it’s not. Give yourself permission to take it step by step.
Everyday Tasks That Are Simple, But Not Easy
I recently polled my Instagram audience on which everyday tasks should be simple but actually aren’t. The top responses were: answering texts, putting things away, and deciding what to do with free time. It turns out, a lot of people are overwhelmed by these seemingly “easy” tasks!
Take responding to texts, for example. It’s something we do all the time, but that doesn’t make it easy. Whether it’s needing time to think about what to say or feeling anxiety about the conversation, there’s more happening behind the scenes. And guess what? That’s all executive functioning at work—your brain has to problem-solve, plan, and process before you can hit send.
The Importance of Self-Talk for ADHD and Executive Functioning
One of the most important aspects of navigating ADHD and executive functioning challenges is how you talk to yourself. Many people tell themselves, “I should be able to do this,” which adds unnecessary pressure and stress. Instead, try shifting your self-talk to something like, “It’s okay if this task feels hard right now. I can break it down and handle it one step at a time.” Being kind to yourself is a crucial part of getting unstuck and improving your executive functioning.
Strategies for Tackling Everyday Tasks When You Have ADHD
Laundry, cleaning, and cooking might feel like never-ending chores (because they literally never end), but they don’t have to be overwhelming. The trick is to find a system that works for you and your lifestyle. It’s not about finishing laundry once and for all (spoiler: that never happens!). Instead, it’s about creating a routine that makes the task manageable without burning you out.
If you find it difficult to tackle everyday tasks, remember, you’re not alone in this—many people with ADHD face the same challenges, and finding what works for your brain is an ongoing process.
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Have you ever stared at your to -do list and felt completely overwhelmed by something as basic as replying to an email or emptying the dishwasher? You are not alone. On today's episode, we're diving into why simple doesn't always mean easy and how your brain might be making everyday tasks feel impossible and what you can do about
it.
This week I was talking with a client who brought up that she needed to schedule a dentist appointment, but she kept putting it off. And if you've listened to my past episode on being stuck versus procrastinating, she was definitely experiencing a combo of the two, but with a heavier lean towards being stuck. And so when we were talking it through, she was like, you my to -do list literally says,
call the dentist. And that is not all that's involved in scheduling a dentist appointment. When you see something like that, call the dentist, your brain's like, okay, I should, in air quotes, be able to do that. But there's way more steps involved. it's not as simple. It's not as simple as that one step. So we kind of talked through
where she was getting stuck and what was popping up for her. And basically, she was shoulding herself that it should be an easy task. I should just be able to do this. And so that narrative for herself was actually holding her back because her brain was telling her that it should be easier than it really was. And
the challenges she was experiencing were valid. First, most of us don't want to go see the dentist. There's maybe a small percentage of people who love their cleaning,
she was anxious about going and seeing the dentist. So right there, that's being stuck, right? Like that's part of what's holding her back from taking some action is like acknowledging how she's feeling about the situation.
But then we took it a step further and broke it down into all of the steps that she was going to have to do before she could even pick up the phone to call the dentist. So she had new insurance. So she had to update the dentist's office about it. So she had to first find her new insurance card. So that became the first action step was search the junk drawer or in my wallet, my purse to find the insurance card.
so that she would have that information when she made the phone call. Then she needed to prep, make sure that she had her calendar ready so that she could in live time do some time management problem solving when it came time to talk with the office to schedule it. And then she had to like build up the energy to make the phone call. So I think a lot of us experience what I call fear of phone.
We don't have to make phone calls very often anymore. So for some people, there's a little bit of that phone anxiety of talking to somebody in real time over the phone versus a text or an email or being able to use a scheduling app.
So for
up a little bit of that energy and confidence to make the phone call, even though she was feeling a little anxious about it.
And then she had to work through this idea that there wasn't ever going to be a perfect time to make the phone call. And there was never going to be a perfect time to schedule the appointment. Right? Like some of that was holding her back. So right there, that's like six steps. It's not just call the dentist. She had to work through all of these other things, make a plan, and then pick up the phone to call. So for some people,
The idea of calling the dentist might seem like a simple task, like your brain doesn't need to break it down into all of these individual steps. But for a lot of people, tasks like this that feel like they quote unquote should be simple are actually more complicated and not easy. And so if you are one of those people that that catch yourself,
thinking this should be easier. It's okay if it isn't. And that is exactly what we're gonna talk about today. So I polled my Instagram audience on this a while ago to ask them what everyday tasks they felt like should be simple, but they really weren't. So simple, but not easy.
I think this just highlights and validates so many people's experience. So I wanna share a couple of them with you right now. So one of the most popular responses was responding to texts, which many of us are texting regularly. And so this idea that responding to a text or initiating sending a text isn't always easy, I think is.
very important to acknowledge and say out loud. I talk with clients all the time about this stuff. So like, I'm aware that people are experiencing struggle. But if you're somebody that feels overwhelmed or paralyzed when your phone dings, and you need to respond to somebody, you are not alone. And there's a lot of executive functioning stuff happening here, right? Like the text comes in at an unexpected time, you have to be like, Okay, I'm gonna
remember to respond later, or I have to think about my response, or I don't know what I'm going to say to this person, I need to get additional information first, right? Like sometimes it's a multi -step process. Sometimes there are other emotions popping up depending on who's texting us what they're asking about. So responding to texts may not always be easy. Some of the other things that people shared,
we're putting things away when you're done using it. So think about in your kitchen when you're cooking and you stir the pot and then you put it down on the counter and then it sits on the counter and doesn't make it to the dishwasher or the sink, right? If you've ever misplaced your keys, things that feel like they should be simple but aren't always easy. I really loved this response, deciding.
what to do with free time. I feel like I'm going to end up having to do a whole another podcast episode on this because this is something I talk about with clients all the time. Like when you have free periods of time, whether it's five minutes or five hours, deciding what to do with that and then being able to take action on it. And I think a lot of us autopilot
to things that maybe don't serve us or things that we don't necessarily want to be doing with our free time or in retrospect, we're like, ugh, I wish I had used my time differently. I'm thinking about doom scrolling when you have like 20 minutes of random time. So deciding what to do with your free time isn't always easy.
Another one that came up was closing computer tabs. And this is something that has been an ongoing conversation in my coaching membership, stuck to started. Digital clutter is real. So this idea of, want to look at this later, or I don't want to lose track of this, or I need to have access to all of this information, right? And so we leave open.
five, 10, 20, 200 tabs so that we don't lose track of things. So I really appreciated people sharing the things that they don't find easy and maybe other people do and that's okay. I think it's important just to validate simple doesn't mean easy.
So we have been talking about everyday tasks that require a lot of executive functioning skills and strategies in my coaching membership, stuck to started. Specifically, laundry, cleaning, and cooking. So for many of us, these are simply part of our daily lives.
As an executive function coach, most people are coming to work with me for tasks related to work, school, hobbies, and there can be a little bit of embarrassment, shame, and even guilt to bring up chores. And so I just want to put on the record that about 90 % of my clients
both one -on -one and in my coaching membership, ask to talk about laundry. And laundry is something that never ends. I always joke with clients, like you never stop wearing clothes. So of course laundry is never going to end. But I think part of the struggle with why laundry feels so hard,
is part of that. Like we're never going to be done laundry, but the way that we talk about coming up with systems and strategies and like ways to approach this is that we kind of make it seem like the goal is to finish laundry or finish cleaning or be done cooking. But we have to do these things every single day, every single week. And so it's not just aboutcoming up with a system to help you get started and in theory finish, although you're never done, it really comes down to what you're telling yourself and your self -talk. And I will forever be a broken record on this podcast about how self -talk impacts our executive functioning. Because what you say to yourself changes how you feel and impacts your ability to take action.
So if you're saying, just need to finish laundry, I hate to burst your bubble, you will never finish laundry. But if you're focusing on how can I keep up with laundry in a way that works for me, or how can I do laundry in a way that feels better or is more aligned with how my brain works or what my schedule looks like, or how can I create a system that
matches my lifestyle. It might not be what you're seeing on the Instagram scroll of color coordinated closets and pristine bureaus with nothing on the top. It might be a system that works for you and looks very different than what we're seeing and hearing about for the perfect system for laundry, in quotes, of course.
So if you're struggling with these everyday tasks, laundry, cooking, cleaning, it's really important that you first look at the self -talk piece, then create some systems that work for you. And that's exactly what we're doing in my coaching membership, The Stuck to Started.
Society. I never really call it that. I normally just call it stuck to started, but technically it's stuck to started society.
Deciding what to make for dinner every night for many of us is taxing. Mentally, emotionally, physically. We have to do it every single day. Every single day we're deciding what to eat, what to cook, and then all of the executive functioning that has to go into that before we're even cooking, right?
So something I've been talking about a lot with clients is that decision making is an executive function skill. I'm gonna repeat that. Making decisions requires executive functioning. If you're somebody that finds making decisions difficult, regardless of what type of decision it is, something as quote unquote simple as
what to eat for dinner. I do not find that simple at all. To something more complex, like, or complicated, like changing careers, or making a move, or something like a much larger impact on your life. All decisions require us to work through and use our executive function skills, planning, organizing, prioritizing.
flexible thinking. So making any decision can be complicated. And so specifically thinking about a decision that we're making over and over again of what to eat and what to cook and how to make that happen. So again, if you were to look at your to -do list and have it just say, decide what's for dinner or cook dinner,
I would challenge you that your brain is problem solving lots of other things along the way. So what's in your fridge? Do you need to go grocery shopping? Okay, if you need to go grocery shopping, what are you going to cook? And then making a list. Or are you going to just go to the grocery store and wing it and buy whatever looks good and then figure it out when you get home? When are you going to go to the grocery store? When does it fit your schedule?
When do you have the energy to do that? When do you have the like motivation push to get out and go grocery shopping? Or are you gonna order it online and get it delivered or go do a pickup? If you're gonna do a pickup, what time fits your schedule from commuting home? Or will you ask your partner to do it? Right, there's so many pieces of this puzzle that we're doing every single week.
And that's even before you get into the kitchen to cook, right? That's all the prep, decision -making, getting ingredients, making a plan. And then every day or however often you cook, having the energy, carving out the time to get into the kitchen and prep and cook, whether it's a simple dinner like pasta and veggies or something more complicated.
But these are the things that we're doing every single day, every single week. And so I just want to reiterate that if there is a task or something on your to -do list that you find yourself feeling stuck on or feeling overwhelmed by or feeling parallelized by, check in on your self -talk around this thing.
And if you're shoulding yourself that it should be easy, you should just be able to start it, I would really encourage you to catch yourself when that happens and reframe it for yourself. It's okay if this is hard. This requires lots of steps. Making decisions takes time for me, right? Whatever that might look like for you, but...
Like I said, starting with your self talk is really the most important piece of getting unstuck and starting the things that you want and need to do, especially the things that we're doing over and over and over again, like laundry, cooking, responding to text messages, making a plan for your day. It's okay if you don't find
these tasks easy. You are absolutely not alone. If you're looking around at friends and family and wondering how everybody else seems to have it figured out, and if it feels like you're the only one struggling with these everyday tasks, I want you to know that this is something that I talk about every single day with clients, both my one -on -one coaching clients and the members of the Stuck to Start a Society.
So you are not alone. Keep giving yourself credit as you navigate these tasks every single day.
thank you so much for being here.
