My #1 Strategy to navigate overwhelm as an executive function & ADHD Coach
My #1 Strategy to navigate overwhelm as an executive function & ADHD Coach
If you’ve ever felt so overwhelmed that your brain either spins out at 10,000 miles an hour or completely shuts down, you are not alone. Overwhelm with ADHD can show up whether it’s caused by stress, anxiety, or even excitement.
In this post, I share my favorite strategies for navigating ADHD overwhelm, how to ask for help (even when it’s hard), and ways to support someone you care about who might be feeling stuck. These are tools I use personally and with my ADHD and executive functioning coaching clients, and they work whether your overwhelm is occasional or chronic.
The Two Ways My Brain Responds to Overwhelm
When I get overwhelmed, my brain usually does one of two things:
Overdrive mode: racing through every possible thought, idea, and option, like the viral Charlie Day meme with the red string map.
2. Shutdown mode: complete radio silence in my head, where even forming a single thought feels impossible.
There’s usually no in-between for me. And it doesn’t matter if the overwhelm is triggered by something stressful or something exciting—it still shows up the same way.
Why ADHD Overwhelm Can Feel So Intense
Some people experience more chronic or intense overwhelm than others, often because of factors like mental health, physical health, personal life events, or being part of a marginalized group.
Many of my clients with ADHD and executive dysfunction describe feeling:
Constantly behind or in catch-up mode
Unsure of where to start
Like they don’t have the right tools to manage life’s demands
Whether it’s work, managing household chores, caring for family members, there’s so much to do it’s easy to feel behind before you even get started.
Before we talk about strategies, I want to validate this: your experience is real, and you’re not alone in it.
My Number One Tip for Navigating Overwhelm
One of the best first steps to managing ADHD overwhelm is to name it. Dr. Dan Siegel calls this “name it to tame it.”
Here’s how to do it:
Pause for a moment.
Identify exactly what you’re feeling.
Maybe it’s “I am overwhelmed.”
Or more specifically: “I am anxious,” “I am uncertain,” “I am exhausted.”
Remind yourself: once you name it, you can start to take action.
Talking and Processing: Why It Helps
Getting thoughts out of your head—through talking or writing—can break the paralysis of executive dysfunction and overwhelm. When ideas and to-do’s swirl around in your mind, they compete for your attention and drain mental energy. Externalizing them onto paper or into words creates clarity, reduces mental load, and makes it easier to see the next step. This simple shift turns an abstract cloud of “everything I have to do” into something tangible you can sort, prioritize, and act on - freeing up brainpower for problem-solving instead of just juggling thoughts.
You can:
Talk to yourself (out loud or in a journal)
Talk to a therapist, ADHD coach, or another professional
Talk to someone in your personal circle (partner, friend, coworker, family member)
Even talk to your pet if you just need to say things out loud
Choosing the Right Conversation
When deciding to talk through your overwhelm, ask yourself:
Who do I want to talk to?
Professional support
Personal connections
Myself
What kind of conversation do I want to have?
Do I want advice or guidance?
Do I just want to vent without solutions?
Do I want help making a plan?
If you’re talking to someone else, check in first to see if they have the capacity for the conversation and let them know what kind of conversation you’re looking for
After the Conversation
When you finish processing:
Notice how you feel (lighter, more clear, neutral, or even more emotional—all are valid).
Have a self-care plan ready to regulate your nervous system.
Move your body
Drink water
Journal
Check sensory needs
Reflection Questions for Moments of ADHD Overwhelm
When you feel stuck or paralyzed, try asking yourself:
What would make the most impact for me right now?
Quiet time
Movement
Being with people or alone
Brain dumping
A small self-care win
Is there something I can take off my plate right now?
Remove tasks that aren’t urgent or important
Give yourself permission to do less
Is there something that would boost my mood, confidence, or sense of control?
A small, visible win (like putting away the three water glasses by your bed)
Self-care
Reaching out to someone you trust
Final Thoughts on Managing ADHD Overwhelm
There’s no one magical solution to ADHD and executive dysfunction, but talking, processing, and being kind to yourself can make a real difference. Whether you’re in overdrive or shutdown mode, giving yourself permission to pause, name what’s happening, and connect with others can help you take the first step forward.
Curious about working with an Executive Function Coach?
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Sarah Lovell (00:01.312)
If you've ever felt so overwhelmed that your brain either goes into overdrive or completely shuts down, you are not alone. Whether that overwhelm is coming from stress, anxiety, or even excitement, one of the most powerful ways to work through overwhelm is by talking and processing it out loud. In today's episode, I'm sharing my favorite strategies for navigating overwhelm, how to ask for help even when it's hard.
and ways to support somebody that you care about who might be feeling stuck. If you're overwhelmed trying to navigate life with ADHD, someone who struggles with executive functioning, or simply a human dealing with life's curve balls, this conversation will give you tools, validation, and permission to be gentle with yourself. So take a deep breath, you're in the right place, and I'm so glad you're here.
Sarah Lovell (01:02.594)
do the song and the intro.
Sarah Lovell (01:11.79)
So when I get overwhelmed, my brain does one of two things. It either starts going 10,000 miles an hour and thinking about all the options, all the possibilities, all the things. Like I picture if you've seen, it's always sunny in Philadelphia, or if you're familiar with like the viral.
meme of Charlie Day and he has like the map behind him with the red string and he's trying to like piece everything together. My brain usually feels like that and that's literally what I picture when I'm when I'm overwhelmed. Or on the flip of that sometimes my brain just like shuts down to like silent mode where there's like no processing happening. It is
radio silence, it is hard to pull a thought out because I'm so overwhelmed. And there's really not a lot of in-between for me when I'm feeling overwhelmed. It's usually one or the other. And it doesn't matter if I'm overwhelmed by something that is causing, is like caused by stress and anxiety, or if it's something that I'm excited about, because sometimes we do get excited, overwhelmed by excited things, but...
It doesn't matter what's causing my overwhelm. For me and for many people, one of the best things to do when you're overwhelmed is get it out of your head. And talking and processing is an amazing strategy for that. And that's what I'm going to talk about today. We're going to talk about how to talk your way through overwhelm and how to ask for help.
which can be really, really hard. So if you clicked on this episode, I'm guessing that you are maybe currently feeling overwhelmed or you've had periods in your life where you're overwhelmed or you're anticipating overwhelm coming. It is a universal experience. We all get overwhelmed. But I wanna just take a second right now to pause and...
Sarah Lovell (03:29.198)
point out and validate that some people experience more chronic and more intense overwhelm for a variety of different reasons. So whether that's mental health, physical health, personal life events, being part of a marginalized group.
not everybody experiences overwhelm the same way. And so this is something I talk about a lot with my clients who have ADHD and who struggle with executive functioning. They talk about this intense and chronic overwhelm that can happen related to feeling behind, constantly being in catch-up mode, feeling like they don't have the right tools or strategies to navigate life. And so if that's you, before we even jump in today,
I just want to validate your experience. So whether you're experiencing the intense chronic overwhelm or the day-to-day occasional overwhelm, you're in the right spot and I'm really glad that you clicked this episode to listen today. I know that you don't want to keep feeling this way. Literally nobody wants to experience the discomfort, the frustration.
all of the complicated emotions that can come with overwhelm. But because you're listening to this podcast episode, I know you're someone who wants to take action to get out of this feeling. And the taking action part is the hard part. That's the executive function part. How do you figure out a starting point and how do you get started? So today I'm gonna share my number one suggestion for navigating overwhelm and what I consider to be a buffet of strategies that you can choose from.
As with most of my episodes, I share a lot. I pack a lot into 20 minutes. And so if you're somebody that wants to read a summary of what I talk about today, or if you're like, Sarah, I don't have 20 minutes, I wanna skim, there's a blog version of this, everything I'm gonna talk about today on my website, executivefunctioningfirst.com slash podcast, or you can click the link in the show notes. And then...
Sarah Lovell (05:46.726)
One quick disclaimer before we jump in. I want to remind you that there isn't one magical solution to navigating overwhelm. If there was, we would all be doing it. It would be working for everybody. there'd be no overwhelm in the world. I wish that was the case. I wish it was that easy. I wish there was a magic wand.
But whenever I share strategies, tools, ideas, suggestions on this podcast, please take what's helpful for you, please adjust it to fit for you, and leave anything that isn't helpful behind. All right, here we go. So one of the big challenges with overwhelm is the swirling thoughts and the paralyzing feelings that can come with it. And so if you have been listening to this podcast,
If you've listened to other episodes, if you've been with me since day one, you've heard me say this and I will continue to repeat it because repetition is important, reminders are important. But the first step to getting unstuck, the first step to navigating overwhelm is to name it. So name it to tame it. Dr. Dan Siegel said that and it has stuck with me. It's something that I practice. It's something I help clients practice.
It's basically just helping your brain name the experience that you're having. What are you feeling right now? Yes, maybe it's overwhelmed, but can you get more granular with it? Can you pinpoint other feelings or words that fit for you? Maybe you're feeling unsure. Maybe you're feeling anxious. Maybe you're feeling burnt out or exhausted. Once you name it,
you can start to do something about it. So this is literally just taking a pause. Like I already know you know you're overwhelmed. You're listening to this episode. But once you, it really is about pausing it and pausing and telling your brain, I am overwhelmed right now. I am experiencing uncertainty right now. I am exhausted. When you do that, your brain has this like, okay, yeah.
Sarah Lovell (08:06.69)
That is what's happening. And then we can start to create a plan and take some action. And so I want you to know that you do not need to navigate overwhelm alone. That is coming from someone who has tried to do that. Many of us try to do that. People pleasers, perfectionists, when you're overwhelmed, sometimes it can be hard to...
bring it up. You're like, I just want to push this down. do not want to, I do not want to process this. I do not want to talk about this. I don't want other people to know. I get that. And so first I wanted to acknowledge that like that, right, even naming that like asking for help is hard, right? Name it to tame it. Processing out loud can be hard, but processing out loud,
does have a lot of benefits for many people. And so just wanna remind you that talking with someone or asking for help is a strength. And as you practice it, it does get easier. And so I'm gonna talk through some different ways to approach processing and talking through overwhelm. So first is thinking about...
Who could you talk to? And if immediately you're like, Sarah, I do not wanna talk to anybody about this, that is totally fine. This is still applicable to you. Because you can talk to yourself about the overwhelm, right? So it might be journaling, it might be talking out loud to yourself, it might be just processing out loud by yourself, but verbal processing.
or written processing, getting it out of your head can be really powerful. And so that's, just leave it there. Like even if you're not feeling ready or like talking with somebody else would be the right fit for you right now, you can do this with yourself and there's benefit there. But maybe you have other people in your life that you could think about who's in your circle. So maybe depending on what you're feeling overwhelmed on, right? You're gonna choose a different person or different people.
Sarah Lovell (10:29.154)
So it might be, I think the first person, the first, I'm guessing maybe you're like, are you insinuating therapy, Sarah? Yeah, maybe, maybe talking with a therapist could be a fit. Maybe talking with a coach or a professional who offers support in the specific area that you're feeling overwhelmed in. As a business owner, I was really.
resistant to asking for help in my business or wanting to talk about my overwhelm in my business because I was like, I should red flag, be able to figure this out by myself, right? Anytime there's a should, there's a red flag. But eventually I started asking for help and reaching out to professionals, coaches, and industry professionals to be like, hey, I'm overwhelmed trying to figure out how to market my business. And so I
I groups, I hired support, I asked other people, right? So there might be somebody specific that you're like, I'm feeling overwhelmed by this particular thing. I could go find a particular person to help with that overwhelm. I hear that a lot when people find me for executive function in ADHD coaching. They're like, my God, I did not know that this resource existed or that this is something that people could ask for help on.
Right? So if there's something very specific that you're feeling overwhelmed by, look and see if there's somebody that specializes in that. Chances are there is because you're probably not the only person experiencing that overwhelm. But outside of professionals, outside of therapy or coaching or industry professionals, you have people in your personal circle too that might be the right fit to talk about some of the overwhelm you're experiencing. So whether that's
a partner, a spouse, friends, coworkers, family members, people in your personal circle. It could also be your pet if you're like, you know, they're not going to talk back. But if you're like, I just want to process it out, right? If you're like, I'm somewhere in between of like, I don't want to talk to just me. I don't want to talk to somebody else. My dogs have heard lots from me. I talk out loud to them all the time. Right? So talking out loud.
Sarah Lovell (12:48.152)
has benefit. So that would be the first thing is thinking about who do you want to talk to? The second thing, and maybe this might happen before if you're thinking about like the order of events here, but what type of conversation do you want to have? Are you asking for support or guidance? Or do you just want to vent? Those are options. Sometimes you can say, hey, I just need to get this out.
want depending on the person you're talking to, right? Setting that expectation. I don't want you to respond. I don't want your opinion or feedback or suggestion. I just need a space to vent and share to get it off my chest. Or are you asking them to help you with something? Do you want them to give you feedback or advice? Or do you want them to just listen?
Right? So that's kind of another touch point there is what type of conversation do you want to have? It's also okay if you don't know, maybe you're just starting it. And as you get going, you're like, Ooh, let me, let me check in with this other person on what, what would be helpful for me. So that's kind of this, like this next reflection point would be what is your intention for the conversation? Do you want to just get things out of your head and off your chest to put it out there, right? To take that.
If you're familiar with the Charlie Day meme with the strings and the map and all the things, right? You just want to get it out of your head. Or do you want to create an action plan? Right? Or are you asking for them to help you with something? I mean, if you aren't sure it's okay, the intention might be just to start talking or just to start processing. Sometimes it can be helpful to set a time limit too for yourself if you're like, I just want to
chat about this for 10 minutes and then I want to move on, right? Sometimes having a deadline or not a deadline, having a set amount of time can be helpful where you're like, okay, I have this container that I'm staying in. And then before you start processing and talking, maybe setting some expectations for yourself and the other person. So you've done some thinking on who you're gonna talk to, the intention of the conversation,
Sarah Lovell (15:09.76)
your kind of maybe goal for it. And so it might be something like, hey, I'm feeling really overwhelmed, really overwhelmed with this work project. Can I talk it through with you and maybe have you share your thoughts on my next steps? If you're talking with a friend, a partner, a coworker, or a non-professional person, I would also, as a courtesy, check in with them to see if they have the capacity to have this conversation with you, especially if you're sharing, you know,
lots of emotional things or heavy things, right? So I'm feeling really overwhelmed with everything on my plate right now. Would you be comfortable if I talked this out with you? Because then that gives them the opportunity to say like, right now I'm not in a space for that conversation or right now is not the best time for me, but hey, can we talk about this, you know, at this different time or place. And then once you've had the conversation and you're wrapping up the conversation, take a second to just
pause and notice how you're feeling. Maybe you feel lighter, maybe there's more clarity. Maybe you feel neutral, you feel exactly the same as you started and that's okay. Maybe it stirs up more emotions. All of those things are valid. There's no, you didn't do it right or wrong if you don't feel a sense of ease after the conversation. Sometimes that
you know, that stirring up of emotions is part of the process. And so that's why after the conversation or after you process out loud, whether it's with yourself or with somebody else, having a plan for self care and re-regulating your nervous system, supporting yourself is so important. So this could be something like moving your body, drinking water, journaling if you hadn't already done that.
checking in with your sensory needs, doing something for self care. And the reason I am talking about overwhelm so much on the podcast is because all of this is executive functioning. It takes planning, prioritizing, and task initiation to work through overwhelm. So I want to leave you with a couple of questions that you can ask yourself to coach yourself.
Sarah Lovell (17:31.2)
in moments of overwhelm. So you've heard me, if you've listened to the podcast before, you've heard this question because I love it so much. But what would make the most impact for me right now? So when you're in a state of overwhelm, if your brain is trying to choose between all of the options that it's throwing at you or zero options because it's in a paralysis mode, this question is really helpful.
what would make the most impact for me right now? So maybe it's pausing and having quiet time. Maybe it's getting up and moving. Maybe it's being around people, being alone, brain dumping, doing something where you can get a win or doing something for self care. If you aren't sure, notice if you're putting pressure on yourself to pick the perfect thing.
So there is no perfect thing. Anything you pick is a good choice. And something related to self-care is always a good default if you're really like, I have no idea what is going to make an impact for me right now. The goal is to break through paralysis, basically. So I would also just put in a little side note of caution.
to notice if there is a temptation to grab your phone in this moment. That is very common. It is a little comfort tool for many of us. And so you can just pause and check in with yourself to see, that really supporting you right now? This is something I have noticed a lot in myself recently, that when I feel discomfort or when I feel overwhelmed,
I autopilot to my phone and it does not actually support me. It does not make me feel better. Oftentimes it makes me feel more overwhelmed. And so that's something that I'm working on and I'm going to do future episodes on phone use and intentional screen time because it's something that I hear from all of my clients. So that's just a little side note there. But the question is, what would make the most impact for you?
Sarah Lovell (19:57.89)
right now. Another question that you can use to coach yourself is, is there something I can take off my plate right now? It isn't urgent. It isn't important. It isn't going to make an impact if I take action on it right now. Can you give yourself permission to take that off your plate and to give yourself permission to do a little less? Even if it feels like you're not doing anything.
This is an important reflection because sometimes it feels like you're doing nothing because your plate is so full. And so it's like, well, I'm not doing absolutely everything. And so to say, okay, what can I take off of my plate to simplify what's in front of me, to take off some of that overwhelm and say, these are later things and that is okay because you weren't gonna get to them right now anyway because you're in that overwhelmed state.
So it's simplifying what's on your plate, giving yourself permission to narrow it down so that you can focus on what is going to make an impact for you. And it might be self-care. It might be doing that thing on your list that's been like weighing on you. It might be saying that thing is not the right fit right now. There's no right or wrong here. And a question that might help you navigate that even more is,
Is there something that would boost my mood, boost my confidence, or help me feel more in control right now? Because I think a big piece of overwhelm is that you don't feel in control. Everything feels outside of your control, or a lot of things feel outside of your control. And so is there something that would boost your mood, boost your confidence, or help you feel, or help you notice what you're in control of? So it might be taking a small action.
Like literally getting up from the space that you're in, move a muscle, change a thought is a great reminder there. Literally getting up is an action that you have control over or moving or changing your scenery. Doing something where you'll see a difference. So this could be, I call it a tiny tidy. I'm not telling you to clean or.
Sarah Lovell (22:22.062)
Like go into organization mode, because that can be overwhelming for a lot of people. But can you take the three water glasses next to your bed downstairs to the kitchen? That is a personal example from my life this week. I'm like, oh my gosh, I have collected all the water. Can I, if I do that, right? Like it's a quick win. It's something visible of I can see a difference.
that can give a little bit of ease and levity. It's not gonna solve all your overwhelm for sure, no, but it's a step in the right direction. And then self-care usually is something, boost your moods, boost your confidence and it's something that you can have some control over. And finally, reaching out to connect with someone. I mean, that was the theme of this episode. Connection is really powerful.
I know sometimes it can feel out of reach or can be challenging for lots of different reasons. And so, you know you best. And so I would say if that isn't the right fit, look at other self-care that you can lean on. And again, just as a friendly reminder, as we close out this episode, there isn't one magic solution to navigate overwhelm, but talking, processing, and being kind to yourself.
can really make a difference. So I'm very, very glad you're here today. Like I said at the beginning, if you want a written summary of today's podcast episode, go to executivefunctioningfirst.com slash podcast, or you can click the link in the show notes. And then if you have a friend or a loved one who you think would benefit from listening to the From Stock to Started podcast, please share it with them. That is my goal of creating this free content is to share it far and wide.
And it has been amazing to see the reach that this podcast has had in the short time that I've been doing it. Well, short is, I've been doing it since, I don't know how many months now, eight, 10 months, I think. So not very short. I should give myself more credit there. But in the time that I've been doing this podcast, track how many, you know,
Sarah Lovell (24:48.184)
how many listens it gets and how many new listeners, because that's fun for me to see. And it is amazing how much this has been spread far and wide. So thank you if you have shared this. If you haven't, no worries. I'm glad you're here. So take extra good care and we will talk again soon.
