Break Free from Limbo: How to Get Unstuck, Take Action, and Rest
Do you ever find yourself stuck in that in-between space where you're not resting, but you’re not getting anything done either? I call this feeling getting stuck in limbo, and it’s the worst.
You’re overwhelmed, anxious, and feeling like you should be doing something—anything! But instead, you’re just...stuck.
What is Waiting Mode & Limbo?
The other day, I found myself in the kitchen between coaching calls, just “beep-bopping” around. I had a weird amount of time and thought I should either rest or get something productive done. But I did neither. I was in limbo—caught between wanting to check something off my list and feeling like I should be resting, without actually committing to either.
Does that sound familiar?
Maybe for you, it looks like doom scrolling on your phone, but not actually feeling relaxed. Or perhaps you’re bouncing between small tasks, never finishing anything. Limbo is that space where you're neither truly resting nor being productive, and it leaves you feeling stuck and unfulfilled.
Why Do You Get Stuck in Limbo?
Limbo happens for different reasons, but here are a few common culprits:
Not Giving Yourself Permission to Rest: You might feel guilty about relaxing because you should be working. But rest is productive too!
Overwhelm or Indecision: With so much on your plate, you might not know what to prioritize or where to start.
Uncertainty: Not having clarity on how to start a task can paralyze you and keep you stuck.
Random Amounts of Time: When you have an awkward amount of time (like 15 minutes), it can be hard to decide what to do with it - so you end up “wasting it.”
How to Break Out of Limbo when you’re Stuck
The first step in getting out of limbo is recognizing that you're in it. Naming it can help you feel more in control. One of my clients calls it “the pit,” and that metaphor works well—because once you realize you’re in it, you can focus on climbing out.
Once you’ve named it, ask yourself: What will make the most impact for me right now? This question can guide you toward either rest or work. If your answer is rest, give yourself full permission to do so. If it’s work, choose the smallest, most manageable step and take action.
Practical Tools to Help You Escape Limbo
Name It: Simply acknowledge, "I'm stuck in limbo." This alone can help you feel more grounded.
Ask Yourself a Question: “What will make the most impact for me right now?” Whether it’s rest or work, commit to one direction.
Practice Before You Need It: Try using this question when you're not overwhelmed, so it becomes second nature when you are.
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. The tools and strategies I share are meant to be adjusted to fit your life and brain. Be patient with yourself as you figure out what works best for you.
Final Thoughts
If you find yourself in limbo this week, take a moment to pause, name it, and be kind to yourself as you find your way out. And if you want more personalized strategies for getting unstuck, I’d check out this free training where I teach you how to build a toolbox to get unstuck when procrastination is popping up.
You deserve rest and productivity on your terms!
How do you get unstuck & take action? Create your own individualized toolbox!
Sign up for the free on-demand training and discover:
My proven 3 part formula to help you get “unstuck” and take action
How to build a toolbox so you can finally finish the tasks that have been on your to-do list forever
Simple self-talk techniques to shift your mindset, reduce stress, and manage your chronic overwhelm
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Sarah Lovell (00:00)
Do you ever feel like you're caught in this weird in -between space where you're not actually resting, but you're not getting work done either, and you're trying to figure out how to get yourself to do something, anything, literally anything that checks the box? I call this feeling limbo, and I think it's the worst. You're overwhelmed, anxious, stressed out.
feeling like you should be doing something productive or at least relaxing, but you can't seem to make a move in either direction. You're stuck in limbo. Today, we're gonna talk about what limbo looks like and more importantly, how to get out of it. Stick around and let's dive into some strategies for how to break free from this frustrating cycle.
The other day I caught myself in the kitchen just like beep bopping around in the middle of my work day. I work from home. I make my own schedule. I'm very fortunate in that way. But I caught myself basically just not really doing anything. I had a weird amount of time before my next coaching call. I had already had a few client meetings that day, had gotten some work done, was in a good workflow.
But I had this weird amount of time before my stuck to started group coaching call. And in theory, I wanted to use that time to take a break, but I kept having this like, like itching feeling that I should quote unquote, do something. And that that something wasn't somehow rest. And so I was caught in what I call limbo.
I wasn't actually resting and I wasn't actually getting stuff done. Like I'll call it like checklist things or productive things, even though rest is always productive. But for the purpose of like describing limbo, like rest versus something productive. Like I was stuck in the middle and literally wasn't, wasn't accomplishing anything. And it felt awful.
And so when I realized what was happening, I checked in with myself and realized this is limbo. I'm currently in limbo. I need to pick one thing or the other. I either need to rest or I need to do something on my checklist, do something that will make me feel quote unquote productive, even though rest is productive.
This is not something that's like a rare thing for me. Like I probably get caught in limbo several times a day. And sometimes it's short, five to 10 minutes. Sometimes it's significantly longer, like an hour or more. And I never had a name for this experience until clients started talking to me about their own version of this and having this same feeling of like,
stuckness of I'm not actually resting, but I'm also not actually doing the things I want or need to do. And I realized that this is pretty much a universal experience. I think some people experience it way more chronically and way more intensely where they're, they're like feeling paralyzed by it and really, really stuck by it more often and more intensely. And then I think some people experience it.
like the way I do, I don't think I experience it as intensely as some of my clients, but it's definitely something that I notice on a day -to -day basis. And so the more I started talking about it with clients, I think the more validated clients felt, that they're like, my gosh, other people feel this way, other people experience this. And it's also like, I think validating to put a name on it. So I call it limbo.
I have another client, who calls it being in the pit. She describes it as like, I've fallen into a pit and I have to climb out on either side. I can climb out on the rest side or I can climb out on the work or to -do list or quote unquote productive side. But she's like, I'm stuck in a pit and I'm doing nothing. So naming things can be really helpful and really validating.
And so in my work with clients, I've spent a lot of time talking with people about what this experience looks like for them, what it feels like, and coming up with lots of amazing tools to help people get out of limbo or get out of the pit. So let's talk about limbo. Is this something, as I'm describing this, is this something that you experience?
Is this something that you can pinpoint like, my gosh, yes, this happened to me the other day? Let me give you a couple of examples of what limbo looks like for me, but also for some of the clients that I've worked with and how they've described limbo. I think the most universal experience of limbo is doom scrolling. doom scrolling is meant to be what we don't.
to go onto our phone and say, I'm going to doom scroll. We go onto our phone with the intention of, I want to do something entertaining, or I want to pass the time, or I have nothing to do right now, so I autopilot to something that gives me a sense of dopamine, even though I don't think it's really real dopamine. So we don't go onto our phone with the intention of, I want to doom scroll Instagram and feel awful afterwards.
That's not the intention, although that is what tends to happen for a lot of us. So I think sometimes getting sucked into our phone can be a form of limbo. Like your brain is looking for something to do and it's autopiloting to the path of least resistance. And that might look different for you. Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, a mindlessly bouncing between apps.
Maybe it's not your phone, maybe it's gaming or some other technology thing. But basically like something that allows our brain to unplug. And in theory, I think a lot of us think that this is a form of rest or a form of resetting or a way to get back some energy so that you can do the next thing. And in reality, I've never talked to anybody.
who finds that to be a refreshing experience. If you do find it refreshing, and it's working for you, then disregard what I'm saying. But I'm talking about like, when we get sucked into our phone, at the end of it, when we like are able to break free, there's that like guilt, shame, discomfort of, I could have been doing something else with this time, or I don't feel better having done.
I do think there is a time and a place for social media and for apps and those types of things. But what I'm talking about is the like true doom scroll. And so I think for a lot of us that is that can be a form of limbo because you're not actually resting. Another form of limbo I think is for some of my clients is starting something but then very quickly changing gears to something else.
And like the thought in your head being like, am I using my time in a good way or what else should I be doing right now? So kind of like quickly task switching between things, like starting lots of things, but not finishing them because you're, maybe you're feeling indecisive on how you should be using that time or because you don't have a clear plan. So some of, for some of my clients, that's what limbo can look like. And that's what limbo for me when I was in the kitchen was like, I was like, I could.
tidy the counter or should I make a grocery list or if I want to like rest right now, should I sit on the couch and read for a few minutes or should I take the dogs for a walk, right? Like I just kept like bouncing all these ideas around and like starting to take action, then like stepping back and being like, no, this other thing. So that's another form of limbo. And I think the general theme of limbo,
if you're like trying to get yourself to rest or relax, like if the goal is this is a time for me to rest or relax, but your brain keeps thinking about all the things that you should be doing, right? So you're taking the dog for a walk or you're playing with your kids or you're sitting down on the couch to try to be fully in rest mode, but your brain is like,
the laundry needs to be switched or, did you respond to that email? Don't forget to do this thing, right? Like your brain is like popping up all these things that you feel like you should be doing or thinking about. And so then you're not actually resting. On the flip of that, if you're trying to do work and you find yourself forcing yourself to take action on your to -do list, but you're in dire need of rest or you're
focus isn't quite there and finding that everything is taking longer or you're making mistakes and like it's just dragging out the process of the work that you need to be doing. Right, that's also limbo. So limbo can look different and feel different for different people. But I think the most important thing is basically recognizing that you're stuck in between rest and work.
So limbo looks and feels different for different people. But I would say the overarching theme of limbo is that you're not actually resting and you're not actually getting work done. And so whatever that looks like for you and whatever that feels like for you, you deserve to have strategies to help you get out of that feeling because...
It really is such an awful feeling. It's frustrating, it's discouraging, and it really does impact how you're feeling about resting or getting things done.
Let's talk through some common reasons why you might get stuck in limbo. And these are just a few examples from my own life and from clients I've worked with. You might have another reason that you find yourself in limbo, but let me share a few with you. So the first one that I talk about with clients all the time is that you aren't giving yourself full permission to rest. I'm going to repeat that.
You aren't giving yourself full permission to rest. This one's a really tough one because that should in our brain is pretty strong and pretty active. And life is busy. I know you have a lot of things on your plate. I know you're juggling a lot between work, your own self care, your family, all the things. You're juggling everything. I get it.
And so when we try to sit down to rest or to do a hobby or to unplug our brain from work or the to -dos or the things that we quote unquote should be doing, it's really difficult. It's really difficult to give ourselves that full permission of rest, relaxation, enjoyment. And so that's a huge piece of getting out of limbo.
is noticing I need and deserve rest right now, whatever that looks like. And rest is a broad category of things, right? It might be sitting down for five minutes and having quiet time for yourself. It might be going for a walk. It could be engaging in a hobby or activity that you enjoy, right? Rest looks different, but you deserve rest that is rest.
and not being flooded with the shoulds or the work brain kicking in. So that's the second reason that many of us get stuck in limbo, you're shoulding yourself. Whether you're in the rest category, like I said, and all the things that you should be doing are popping up, or whether you're in work mode and you're pushing through trying to get stuff done, really grinding to get your work done or get your chores done or get your to -do list done.
and your brain is pulling other things in. You should be doing this, you should be doing that. So shoulds put us in limbo.
Another reason you might be stuck in limbo is you're feeling overwhelmed or indecisive. So again, there's so many things that are on your plate.
And it's really hard to prioritize or to make a decision on what gets your focus right now.
Another reason you might be stuck in limbo is you are feeling stuck or procrastinating on the things that you want or need to do, right? That quote unquote productive stuff. Again, rest is always productive, but like the to -do list. And so if you're feeling stuck or if you're procrastinating on things, it's going to bounce you around, right? And you're like, I just can't get started on the thing that I want or need to do. And you're stuck in limbo there.
Another really common one that a lot of people don't realize is uncertainty leads to limbo. Uncertainty leads to inaction. Uncertainty kind of keeps us paralyzed or stuck because you don't know how to start or maybe you don't know what information you need or there just isn't enough clarity. And so how can you take action on something that you're feeling unsure about?
So again, that kind of puts us into a limbo.
Or the last reason that I have on this list is that you have a random amount of time that you don't know what to do with. So this was me in my kitchen before my Stuck to Start coaching call meeting. I was like, ugh, this is such a weird amount of time to figure out what to do with. And so I spent a good chunk of that time trying to figure out what to do with it, which is limbo.
So knowing that sometimes there will be weird amounts of time and being able to recognize, ooh, am I in limbo right now? What can I do to use this time in a way that actually feels good?
So if you find yourself in a limbo loop where you're shoulding yourself, you're not actually resting, you're not actually getting things done, and all the negative feelings, the guilt, the shame, the regret pop up, you need some systems to help you get out of
So I love helping clients, one, figure out that limbo is a thing that they experience, and two, come up with systems and tools that actually work for them. So whenever I share tools and strategies on this podcast, I want to remind you that there is no one size fits all system. I'm sharing things that I have collaboratively come up with in client coaching sessions. There are strategies that
clients have come up with themselves and brought to our coaching session based on our conversations.
So you can take these tools, try them out, adjust them to fit for you, definitely don't feel pressure that these tools or systems should work for you.
Take what's helpful, leave what's not, and be open to trying things with the understanding that it's okay if a tool or a system doesn't work for you. It takes patience, time, practice to come up with systems, to learn about your brain, and come up with systems that work for you. And that's exactly what I help people with. So let me jump into a couple tools and systems to help you get out of limbo.
The first thing that you need to do to get out of limbo is first recognize that it's happening. So exactly what happened to me in the kitchen, like when I was beep bopping between things, like I noticed, my goodness, this is what's happening right now. I'm in limbo. So I literally name it for myself. Naming
helps our brain feel more in control and like understand the situation.
Even if you don't have 100 % control over something, which we almost never do, naming things gives our brain a sense of calm. So that's why I named this limbo and my client named it the pit. So you can pick a name for it if one of those doesn't fit for you. If you come up with another name for it, please DM me on Instagram and let me know. I would love to hear what you call this experience. But the first step of getting out of limbo,
is noticing that it's happening, naming it for yourself, and that validates the experience that you're having. You're like, okay, this is what I'm going through right now. And then you can make a plan.
I'm a huge fan of having questions that you can ask yourself to basically coach yourself in situations like this. So a question that I really like is what will make the most impact for me right now? I'll repeat that question for you again. What will make the most impact for me right now? And so a follow -up question might be,
Am I being pulled towards either rest or work?
And you might have some clarity on, really need to carve out X amount of time right now to give myself full permission to rest, which is what I did in the kitchen when I realized I have another meeting coming up. I need to conserve some energy. I need to give myself permission to sit down and rest and do something that is going to recharge my battery, right?
Maybe you ask yourself that check, that checking question, what's going to make the most impact for me right now? Am I being pulled towards work or rest? And it's the other way that the thing that is going to make the most impact for you is doing something on your to -do list or doing something that you want or need to do that isn't necessarily.
So checking in with yourself, what is the smallest, most realistic step that will help you start doing the thing that you want or need to do, that you want or need to take action on? And on the flip of that, on the rest side, you could even check in with yourself, what type of rest would be most helpful for me right now?
If limbo is impacting your life, whether it's every day or a couple of times a week, once a month, whatever it is, you deserve to have simple, effective tools to help you get out of limbo. And it's so important that they're simple because your brain is overwhelmed when you're in limbo and it's on autopilot. So having tools that are
easy to grab and use, like a check -in question, can become a new muscle memory with practice and with support. And that is something we are always talking about in Stuck to Started. How can you integrate the tools and systems that help you get unstuck into your daily life? And it really starts with using them when you don't actually need them. And what I mean by that
is if you're already in limbo, your brain is overwhelmed. And so it can be hard to reach for a tool that is brand new. So even if you're not in limbo today or tomorrow or later this week, having practicing this question, if you find this question helpful for you, what is going to make the most impact for me right now? Practicing it throughout the day when your brain is not in full overwhelmed mode.
That way, when you are overwhelmed, you can pull this from your toolbox because it's one that you've used before and you remember, that's been helpful for me in the past. If you are looking to brainstorm questions to coach yourself, if you want to grow your toolbox, this is something that we are doing every single day in the Stuck to Start It Society. I would love to support you with it. So if you catch yourself in limbo this week,
I want you to pause, name it for yourself, and be extra kind as you navigate getting out of limbo.
