Endless Laundry & Constant Clutter?! ADHD Cleaning Tips That Won’t Burn You Out
Endless Laundry & Constant Clutter?! ADHD Cleaning Tips That Won’t Burn You Out
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the constant mess in your home, you’re not alone. Cleaning isn’t just about completing a to-do list—it’s an emotional and mental process that challenges your executive functioning skills. For many with ADHD or executive function challenges, cleaning can feel like climbing a mountain that never stops growing.
The good news? Cleaning doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to work for you. In this blog, I’ll share ADHD-friendly strategies to reframe cleaning and make it less overwhelming. From mindset shifts to practical tools, these tips will help you create a system that fits your energy and life—no Instagram-worthy results required.
1. Reframe Your Mindset About Cleaning
For many people, your thoughts about cleaning are the biggest obstacle. You might think, “I’m messy” or “I’m bad at keeping up with chores,” which only adds guilt and shame.
Here’s the truth: A spotless home doesn’t define your worth.Instead of focusing on what isn’t done, shift your mindset. Tell yourself:
“I’m someone who cares for my space in a way that works for me.”
Celebrate small wins.
Taking a dish to the sink? That’s progress.
Moving laundry into a pile? That’s organizing.
Every small step counts—and those steps add up.
2. Start Small with a “Tiny Tidy”
Feeling overwhelmed is one of the biggest reasons you avoid cleaning. That’s where the tiny tidy comes in. This ADHD-friendly concept encourages you to take one small, manageable action—like clearing a single countertop or wiping out the sink.
The beauty of a tiny tidy is its simplicity. There’s no pressure to finish an entire room. Just focus on one quick win. If you feel motivated, keep going. If not, celebrate the progress you’ve made and move on.
3. Make Cleaning Fun (Yes, It’s Possible!)
Cleaning doesn’t have to feel like a literal chore. Pair it with something enjoyable to make it more bearable—or even fun!
Music:Blast your favorite playlist and dance while you clean.
Podcasts or Audiobooks:Turn cleaning time into “you” time by catching up on your favorite content.
Gamify It:Set a timer for five minutes and see how much you can accomplish before it dings. (It’s more than you think!)
When you attach joy or novelty to cleaning, it becomes less of a chore.”
4. Understand Why Cleaning Feels Hard
Cleaning isn’t just physical; it requires several executive functioning skills, such as:
Task initiation:Getting started can feel impossible.
Planning and organizing:Deciding what to clean first or where things go is overwhelming.
Time management:Underestimating how long tasks take adds stress.
Emotional regulation:Cleaning can trigger guilt, shame, or frustration.
If you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself:
“What’s making this feel hard right now?”
Once you identify the challenge, you can choose a strategy to address it.
5. Use ADHD-Friendly Tools to Break Cleaning Down
Sometimes, the right tools can make all the difference. Here are some ADHD-friendly resources to help you get unstuck:
Goblin Tools:A free AI app that breaks tasks into manageable steps.
ChatGPT:Use it to brainstorm cleaning strategies or create step-by-step instructions.
Delegate Tasks: Enlist help from family members, or invest in tools like a robot vacuum (great for pet owners!).
Join a Coaching Community: In groups like Stuck to Started, you’ll find validation, support, and accountability from others facing similar challenges. We talk about laundry and cleaning at least once a week.
6. Embrace the Cleaning Cycle
Here’s a game-changing mindset shift: Cleaning is a cycle, not a one-and-done task.
Life happens—mess is inevitable. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on creating a system that works for your energy and schedule.
Some options to consider:
Daily Tiny Tidies:Tackle one small task a day to keep things manageable.
Weekly Reset: Dedicate a chunk of time each week to reset your space.
Batch Cleaning:Save cleaning for specific days when you’re energized.
Final Thoughts: Progress Over Perfection
By reframing your mindset, starting small, and leveraging ADHD-friendly tools, you can make chores more manageable.
Remember: The goal isn’t a picture-perfect home. It’s about creating a space where you feel calm, focused, and comfortable.
Want more ADHD-friendly tips and strategies?
Let’s work together! Executive function coaching helps break down big challenges into manageable steps. Together, we’ll find the cleaning system that works best for you.
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Sarah Lovell (00:00)
This episode is for you if you feel chronically overwhelmed trying to keep up with laundry, dishes, and your house clean. House chores are complicated. It's more than just doing it. There's a swirl of thoughts, emotions, and a ton of executive function skills involved. So if your house is a mess, don't feel bad. There's no shaming here. I'm going to share some realistic strategies that you can try in your busy life to make cleaning a little bit more manageable. Let's do it.
So full disclosure before we even jump into this episode, I do not like cleaning. I find it stressful, boring, tedious, repetitive, but I do enjoy the outcome when I do clean. And so if you are somebody who can relate, that is exactly what we're talking about today. We're talking about why cleaning is so...
complicated and how to make it fit into your busy life. Cause I know you're busy. So the other day I walked into my kitchen and just immediately felt overwhelmed. Like there were dishes on the counter, the dishwasher hadn't been emptied. So the sink was starting to pile up with dirty dishes. It was just like stuff that didn't belong in the kitchen was like hanging out on the counters.
So it was just like visually overwhelming. And so, I mean, there's research that shows when our space looks a certain way, it impacts how we feel. And so I'm not saying you need to have a meticulous Instagram house. That is not realistic. That's also not real. But it's about finding the balance of what your space looks like so you feel comfortable and
Yeah, comfortable. That's the most important word, I think. You want to feel comfortable in your space. And there's going to be this ebb and flow. There definitely is in my life. My house gets messy, and then I'm like, okay, time to clean. And then I keep living in the space and it gets messy again, right? It's a cycle. And so when I walked into my kitchen, I was like, all right, I can't even cook in here because I have to clean it first.in order to be able to like be in this space and use this space. And so I started cleaning the kitchen, put on music, and got into a good flow and then just like kept cleaning. And that was not my intention. the goal was just to like get the kitchen to feel a little bit better. But once I started, I was like, let's just keep going. So I definitely sometimes get into all or nothing with cleaning. and
That weekend was a great example of it. Like I cleaned my entire house and it felt really good to have done that. Like to do a full reset. That's not something I do very often. I try to like keep up with it throughout the week. But occasionally life gets crazy and I go days without really doing any tidying or cleaning. And then it's time to like do an overhaul.
And so that's exactly what happened. Like I had a free day. I had the energy and the mental space for it. And so I spent a couple of hours like really going at it, cleaning. And when I kind of, you know, wrapped up what I was doing and could look around the whole house, I was like, my gosh, I feel so good. Like this feels so good. And then I had this thought of...
let me sit and enjoy it for 10 minutes because that's how long it's gonna last. And you have to laugh at that because that's the truth. I don't have kids. Shout out to parents who have kids and toys and kid messes. I don't know how you do it. You are superheroes for lots of reasons. I have two dogs that shed a lot.
and bring in muddy paws every once in a while. And I'm only doing laundry for me and my partner. You know, we're only cleaning up after ourselves. everybody's house is different. But I think that that thought of, me enjoy this for 10 minutes, because that's all it's going to last, probably is true for most of us, because
you keep living in your space. Even if it's just you or if it's a family of five and like a zoo, maybe it's not 10 minutes for you. Or if it's just you, maybe it's a half hour. But like you keep using your stuff. You keep living in your space. And so that's why I think it's so important to acknowledge that like what we see on Instagram and social media and TV is just not real.
So like don't have that expectation of my house is gonna look like this forever because I put in X amount of time cleaning it. It's just not gonna happen. I wish if you if your house does stay clean for longer than 10 minutes or a half a day, please DM me and share your secret. I would really like to know because I refuse to follow.
social media influencers who have the immaculate house all the time and share, that's just not real. But if you have a real strategy, please do share it with me and I will share it with my audience. But that's what I'm gonna talk about today. I'm gonna talk about reframing how you think about chores and cleaning. Because if we have it in our head that the goal is to finish cleaning, I have...
heartbreaking news for you. Like you're never done. You're never done cleaning. You're never done laundry. And when I talked about this with one of my clients, she had this like light bulb, light bulb moment of, my gosh, you're so right. Like I'm never going to be finished laundry, which is both liberating in that like the goal is not to finish and extremely, I don't know, whatever word you want to use. I'm going to use the word sad.
Like I'm never going to be done laundry. Like it's always going to be on my rotation. And so I guess I don't want to say sad, because I want to reframe it. That's the whole goal here is to reframe how we think about laundry. But what would be sad is if I said my goal is to finish laundry and then I just never do because I keep wearing clothes. So the goal is not to finish laundry. The goal is not to finish cleaning your house. The goal is to have a system.
that helps you do chores in a way that works for you. I'm gonna say that one again, because maybe you're multitasking, maybe you're, my goodness, bonus points if you're doing some tidying or light chores while listening to this podcast. But if you're walking or driving or whatever, I'm still glad you're here. But this would be a good one to maybe do a little tidying with while you're thinking about this. But anyway, so I'm gonna repeat what I just said because this is what I hope you take away from this episode.
The goal is not to finish cleaning. The goal is to have a system that helps you do chores in a way that works for you because we're never done. So first I want to just acknowledge that cleaning and chores can come with a lot of big thoughts and emotions. So this came up in a workshop call in Stuck to Started, my coaching community.
where we were talking about systems for chores, laundry, cooking, all of that. And a member said, I was always told as a child through my adolescence, even into young adulthood, that I was a messy person. there was a lot of shame around not being able to keep my space clean or not being an organized person. And so,
That is heavy. If you hold that narrative or that story that you're a messy person or you're someone who can't keep your house clean or you're someone who's always trying to catch up, whatever those words might be for you, I think it's really important to acknowledge that that can sometimes be a barrier to doing the thing because your brain is telling you that message.
you're a messy person. And that is not true. So changing your narrative, changing the words that you use is really important and really helpful here. So changing it to that ingrained thought of I'm a messy person into I'm someone who takes care of my house.
even if you feel like you're messy, or even if your house doesn't look the way you want it to look, or even if you're not taking care of it in a way that you want to yet. Reframing it for yourself makes a huge difference. So this is an example of an identity-based goal, and I did an entire episode on this.
episode nine, I talk about setting goals and thinking about goals in a different way. And this relates to household chores. So if you haven't listened to episode nine yet, pin it, listen to it when you're driving or walking or maybe tidying, but there's no pressure. So basically this idea of like what your brain tells you makes a difference on your ability to take action.
So if you say, I'm someone who takes care of my house or I'm someone who creates a space that fits for me, right? Whatever words you want to use, Then you give yourself credit for any time you do something that a person like that would do. So anytime you take a cup from
the side of your bed and bring it into the kitchen, you're someone who takes care of your house. Anytime you take all the laundry that's on the floor and push it into one pile, you're someone who's taking care of your things. Anytime you empty the dishwasher, you're someone who's creating a space that fits for you. It does not have to be this all or nothing thinking on like, if my house isn't totally clean,
I'm not someone who cleans. If you do a cleaning action or a tidy action, you're someone who's taking care of your house or whatever phrase you want to use there. So I would really encourage you to think like, how do you want to think about cleaning or tidying, whatever words you want to use? Because the words really do matter. So let me give you another example here. So I've been working with this
a client for a couple of years and cleaning has always been something that comes up because she's always cleaning. We're always cleaning. And so she basically came to the realization that when she used the word cleaning, like when she says, I need to clean my house or I want to clean my room, her brain automatically shut that thought down. And so we
did a lot of talking about this and realized that it was the word cleaning that was a block for her. So for her, cleaning meant I need to get out cleaning supplies. I need to vacuum, I need to dust, I need to mop, right? Cleaning supplies. So she's like, sometimes I do need to clean, but most of the time I don't. Most of the time I need to tidy, which is like to her,
putting stuff where it belongs, making things look visually more appealing, even if it's not 100%, right? Bringing the cups out of the room or putting things where they belong, even if it's not totally away. So she shifted her thoughts of, I'm going to tidy or I'm going to reset my space, right? So the words you use can really make a difference.
The other reason that cleaning can feel so overwhelming is because it requires all of your executive function skills. So the trickiest one, task initiation, getting started. Right? It can be that you have it in the back of your head. I want to or I need to or I should write those shoulds pop up. How do I get started on this? What does getting started look like? How do I?
actually get myself to take action. That is such a tricky executive function scale. And I'm going to talk about strategies in a few minutes. Planning. If you've listened to my last episode, I talked about the power of not planning, like sometimes just going with the flow. That's exactly what happened to me when I started cleaning and then was just like, whew, I'm just going to go. There's no plan. This is beneficial to me. Like I didn't overplant this.
So sometimes skipping the plan can be helpful and sometimes creating a plan can be helpful. So right finding that Goldilocks effect of how much planning is going to make an impact for you. Organizing is another complicated executive function skill because it also includes decision making. Where does this random piece of paper on the counter go? Where do I put important things? How do I want to reorganize my
cabinet so I can find things easier, right? Whew, big executive function skill. Time management. This is one that popped up the other day. Somebody brought up this idea of like, I thought I had enough time to wet mop my floor before leaving the house, like, and realized, my goodness, no, this is not a 15 minute task. This is a longer, this is a longer task, right? So once you get started on something, or if you have this idea that you're going to do a certain task,
the time management, time blindness piece can really be a challenge with cleaning or chores in general. I'm using those words interchangeably. Emotional regulation. So that is an executive function skill. It's one that we don't talk about enough, but basically being aware of your emotions and being mindful of your emotions, being able to name it and process it and shift between emotions. So as I talked about, for many people, cleaning
or chores or household tasks bring up feelings of shame, guilt, anger, frustration, sadness, right? Like there are lots of complicated feelings that can come up with managing a household and managing chores. And so that is part of the executive functioning process when it comes to cleaning. So I just want to validate that for you, that if you have
big feelings around cleaning. You're not alone and it's okay. And it's good to name it for yourself. Like say, I'm feeling really frustrated that I have to do this or that I need to do this or that I want to do this, but I can't get myself to take action on it. Right. Naming it really helps your brain. I want you to know that you're not alone if you struggle with anything related to chores, cleaning, laundry.
all of the above. This is something that the majority of my clients, I think it's like 80 or 90%, at one point in time I went back and counted, have asked to talk about laundry or cleaning or how to keep up with things in their house. And because it's not really something that we talk about, in society and our friend groups and our families as much,
I think there can be a lot of that shame of like, when I go to other people's houses, it seems like they have it all together and I don't feel that way. Or I feel like I'm constantly in catch up mode on cleaning or laundry. And so I want you to know that if you struggle, you are not alone. It is complicated for all of the reasons I've shared and more.
So I'm gonna share, I think it's like five-ish strategies, maybe a little more, maybe a little less that you can try. And I want to preface these with like, take what's helpful for you, adjust it to fit. And if you hear me share something and you're like, Sarah, that is definitely not gonna work for me, or I do not wanna try that, you do not need to, there's no pressure, leave it behind. Coaching is...
not a one size fits all thing. Coaching is super individualized, but obviously a podcast is recorded and shared to the masses. So if you're wanting to individualize systems that fit for you, that's where stuck to started can be a great fit. This is, we're talking about this stuff all the time and people are sharing what works for them or sharing resources and brainstorming. There's like a lot of good hive mind.
community in Stuck2Started. All right, so here we go. I'm gonna share five-ish strategies. Here they go, here we go. So my biggest formula for getting unstuck that I use in all areas of life for myself and for my clients is this one right here. First, you're gonna figure out why you're stuck.
and then you're gonna use a tool or a strategy that matches that reason. Sounds super simple, but it's more than two steps. But it is like a simple concept, and then there's lots of nuances and ways that you can fit this to work for you. So I'm gonna give you examples, but just to repeat it one more time. So you're gonna figure out why you're stuck.
and then you're gonna use a tool or a strategy from your toolbox that matches the reason you're stuck. So for example, if you are stuck with cleaning your house or doing household chores because it feels overwhelming, a strategy that you could use would be breaking it down. And a very specific example of that is a tiny tidy.
This is something that a client and I came up with in a session where she was like, I just feel overwhelmed with the planning of how to clean, when to clean, what to clean, like order of operations. so tiny, tidy is a phrase that we came up with in our session. And then I Googled it afterwards and it's actually in a book. So we did not come up with it, but I hadn't heard it before. So.
But anyway, I love this phrase, tiny tidy. So it takes the pressure off of you don't need to plan. And it takes the pressure off of you don't need to do an entire room of cleaning. So tiny tidying can be anything from you do one tidy task. So for example, taking something off of your desk that doesn't belong there and putting it where it does.
Or for her, the example that she like, she's like, I have long hair and I always have hair in the sink. Wiping the hair out of your sink when you're washing your hands after, right? Yeah. So a tiny tidy is basically just giving yourself credit for anything that you're doing that's tidying your house. It can be a one second task or a three minute task, and maybe it then becomes something more.
but it doesn't have to. There's no pressure to do anything more than that tiny, tidy.
So that's one example of figuring out why you're stuck, naming it for yourself, I'm overwhelmed, and then having a tool or a strategy that you can say, okay, I can do a tiny-tiny. And that helps manage some of the overwhelm and helps you get started. Another example of why you might be stuck is not knowing where to start. So it's related to that feeling of overwhelm, but you're like, my goodness.
The whole house needs to be cleaned or I walk into a room and this whole, this room is just chaos. Where do I start? So this is where a tool in your toolbox that might be helpful is having some prioritizing questions, questions that can help you figure out a starting point. You do not need to start with the highest priority. That is, that you do not need to start with the most important thing. That sometimes creates stress for people.
So my favorite question you've probably heard me saying before is what will make the most impact for me right now? So if I walk into my office and my desk is like just scattered with things, what might make the most impact for me is taking, you know, taking everything that doesn't belong off of my desk and putting it where it does. Or if I walk into my kitchen and it's visually overwhelming, what may...
what might make the most impact for me is picking the thing that catches my eye first and saying, okay, I'm just gonna start with putting that away or cleaning that up, right? Another question I really like is what would happen if I don't do this today? Because that sometimes gives you immediate permission. Yeah, I don't need to do laundry today. I have enough clean underwear for the rest of the week. We're good, right? Or the opposite might happen.
What would happen if I don't do laundry today? Uh-oh. I have to do laundry today. Right? And so then what would make the most impact for me? I'm going to just wash my favorite things. I'm going to wash the things that I know I want to wear over the next week. Same is true. I could do a whole nother episode on laundry because I talk about it so much. But like you don't have to put your laundry away right away. If that's not going to make the most impact for you, if that's what's keeping you from doing laundry is like, don't want to put it away.
I have a client who has a system where she never puts her laundry away. She has a clean basket and that works for her. And like that takes the pressure off. Other people are like, no, I really want to put my laundry away and I want to create a system for it, right? Like that's something that you can do some brainstorming on and thinking about how to, what's keeping you stuck and what's a tool or strategy that'll help you get unstuck with it.
so another tool that came up in stuck to started is using AI to help you break things down. so chat GPT, you can talk to it. If you have the app, you can do a voice memo to chat GPT and say, Hey, I'm trying to clean my house. Here's all these things that I have going on. I only have this amount of time. How would you recommend I break this down? What could I possibly get started?
And ChatGBT can help you brainstorm. Goblin Tools is another free AI that breaks tasks down into super small steps. So that's another one that clients shared that they're really enjoying.
All right, I'm gonna give you two more examples of why you might be stuck in a tool that you could use. So a really common one is that cleaning is boring or monotonous or, you know, we have to keep doing it, right? So if that's a reason that you're stuck, make it fun. This is like, think the most important thing that we can do for ourselves is turn.
daily monotony into daily joy. So put on a pump up playlist, put on 90s music and dance your heart out. Talk to a friend or a family member. whenever, I never fold laundry, not on the phone. If we are friends in real life, if you are my sister listening to this podcast, she knows this,
I'm folding laundry, I'm probably calling you. And so that's something that's pairing it with something that is enjoyable. Clients pair it with TV shows, and movies. Podcasts, obviously. You can listen to this podcast while you're tidying or cleaning. I would love to be in your ears while you're doing that.
But can also gamify it, right? I mean, this is like an old school trick with kids, right? But like race the clock. It is crazy how much you can get done in three minutes. Like truly, like set a timer for three minutes, go into any room in your house and see what difference you can make. Yeah, gamify it for yourself. The last reason that you might be stuck that I'm gonna share, there's lots of them, obviously.
But the last one I'm going to share is low energy, right? Or low motivation. And so low energy might be physical energy. It might be mental energy. It could be motivation, right? There are lots of reasons that we can have low energy. Especially winter time. It's dark out. It's cold where I live. And so the time that I normally would do household tasks.
my brain is telling me, you know, it's time to cozy up on the couch, right? So this is where a couple of different tools in your toolbox might fit for you. So if the reason you're stuck is low energy or low motivation, tiny, tidy, like I mentioned before, is a great strategy where you're like, I'm just going to do one thing and you're going to give yourself credit for that one thing. Super tiny. Asking for help in delegating is also
a tool in your toolbox. And I think a lot of us forget that that can be an option. So whether it's asking somebody else or dividing up chores or tasks with somebody else in the house, or even delegating it to a robot vacuum, that was the best thing I have ever purchased. Like definitely top five was my robot vacuum.
As a dog mom with two dogs who shed, I hated vacuuming. I've never liked vacuuming. And so I bought a robot vacuum. His name is Trent Krimm, the independent.
If you've watched Ted Lasso, my robot vacuums name is Trent Crimm, the independent. And I love having a robot vacuum. I have him go out every couple of days and he just sweeps up all the dog hair and dust. And I still have to vacuum every once in a while, like with an actual vacuum, it takes it off of my plate more.
So asking other people for help, getting like literal tools like a robot vacuum that can help take things off your plate is definitely helpful if you have low energy as a barrier to cleaning or tidying.
So I hope this episode was validating for you. If you're someone who struggles with cleaning and chores, you are not alone. And there are lots of reasons that chores can be challenging and overwhelming. And I barely scratched the surface talking about it. But if you want to talk with people who get it,
We are having conversations like this all the time in Stock to Started, my coaching membership. So this podcast episode is based on a workshop that I did in the membership. Like I said, I only scratched the surface of tools and resources that we talked about in the workshop, but I ran this workshop because members asked for it. So this is something that is top of mind for the Stuck to Started community.So we do workshops and hot seat coaching and we talk about chores and cleaning and laundry and daily tasks and how to make it more manageable when life is busy. We also have weekly coworking sessions where people are working on all sorts of different types of things, but like it's a great support for, it's a great accountability. And so members have tidied their desk, their car.
you know, done laundry while we're on our coworking call. It's always cameras off. You literally don't even have the option to put your camera on. We use a chat feature instead, and I go on camera for the first 10 minutes and last 10 minutes to like offer coaching and support. But if you're looking for some accountability and support and coaching, the coworking calls and workshops and hot seat coaching is there for you.
And then I also post weekly check-in questions for additional accountability and coaching opportunities. But I think the most important thing about the community is that there's validation because there's conversations happening in our community thread. There's conversations happening on live calls. Like, you know you aren't the only one with a dishwasher full of half clean, half dirty dishes and three weeks worth of laundry just piling up. You're not alone. You're not alone.
So if you are looking for strategies and tools to get unstuck, you want to learn more about your brain, you want to hear more about these types of things that I'm talking about on the podcast and you want to be in a community of people who get it, come join us in Stuck2Started. And if you have questions, seriously shoot me an email. I talk with most people before they join the membership because I want to make sure
that it's the right fit for you. So if you have questions, seriously, send me an email, DM me on Instagram, and let's chat about how you can get support and tools and systems that work for your brain so that life feels a little bit better. That's the goal. Thank you for being here today. Take good care, and I will chat with you again next week.
