How to Take Action When You’re Overwhelmed & Don’t Know Where to Start
One of the most common questions I get as an executive function & ADHD coach: how to keep up with things when you’re overwhelmed.
You know the feeling you get when you walk by the overflowing pile of laundry for the 47th time this week. Or the dread of opening your email because you know there’s an email waiting for you asking why you haven’t completed a report?
Whether it’s an overflowing to-do list, an upcoming trip, or even exciting changes, overwhelm can sneak in and take over.
Overwhelm can be paralyzing and stressful - which can make it feel even worse. Life doesn’t slow down. If anything, more gets added to your plate each week.
The good news? You can break the cycle. I’ll share five strategies that you can start using today to feel more in control, even when life is throwing everything at you.
Why Overwhelm Happens (and Why It’s So Common)
Overwhelm isn’t just about having too much to do—it’s about how your brain processes it all. For those with executive function challenges or ADHD, this can feel like a constant battle. Life doesn’t slow down, and when stress builds up, even small tasks like deciding what’s for dinner can feel monumental.
Here’s something that hit me recently: overwhelm can also come from positive experiences. I call this “excitement overwhelm.” A yoga retreat I attended for women business owners was inspiring, but afterward, my brain was buzzing with ideas and decisions. Excitement, while amazing, can still be exhausting!
Here are 5 Strategies to Guide you the Next time You Feel Overwhelmed
Step 1: Name It to Tame It
One of the most powerful things you can do is name what’s happening. Is it:
Task Overwhelm: Too much on your plate, whether it’s work, home, or both.
Decision Fatigue: Struggling to choose between options, big or small.
Emotional Overwhelm: Feeling stressed, excited, or socially drained.
Sensory Overload: Noise, clutter, or too many notifications pulling at your focus.
Naming your overwhelm validates what you’re feeling and helps you figure out the next step. There are so many different factors that could be impacting how you feel (these are just a few examples.)
Step 2: Assess your Basic Needs Right Now
When was the last time you had a glass of water? A snack? A quick stretch? It’s easy to overlook basic needs when we’re stressed, but small resets can make a big difference.
By focusing on what your body needs right now, you give your brain space to calm down and function better.
Step 3: Use Your Toolbox
Think of this as your personal guidebook for handling stress. Once you identify the reasons why you’re feeling overwhelmed, then you’re going to use the right tool or strategy that matches that reason. For example:
For Decision Fatigue: Ask yourself, “What’s going to make the biggest impact right now?”
For Time Crunches: Prioritize ruthlessly—what absolutely must get done, and what can wait?
For Physical Clutter: Do a “tiny tidy” for three minutes. Small wins matter!
It’s not about solving everything at once. It’s about having the tools to tackle one piece at a time. This is where a lot of people get stuck if you don’t have the right tools to choose from (and that’s exactly what an executive function coach helps you build and design for yourself!)
Step 4: Make a Plan (But Keep It Simple)
Once you’ve named the overwhelm and checked your basics, it’s time to plan your next move. Ask yourself:
What’s the ONE thing I can do to feel better right now?
What does “done” look like for this task?
Sometimes, the plan might be as simple as delegating a task, writing a brain dump, or taking a breather before diving back in.
Step 5: Slow Down and Be Kind to Yourself
Here’s the truth: hustle culture is a lie. You don’t have to do everything right now. Adjust your pace and give yourself permission to work in a way that fits your energy.
Let go of tasks that aren’t urgent.
Be realistic about how much time things actually take.
Celebrate small wins—they add up!
One of my coaching clients shared a recent win: they let a project take the time it needed, instead of rushing to finish it. The result? Less stress and a better outcome.
Overwhelm Is Manageable—With the Right Tools
Managing overwhelm isn’t about eliminating stress entirely; it’s about learning how to navigate it. By naming what you’re feeling, checking in with your needs, and using strategies that work for you, you’ll be better equipped to handle whatever life throws your way.
If you’re ready to build your own overwhelm toolbox and take control of your to-do list, I’d love to help. My Stuck to Started coaching membership is designed to give you the tools, support, and strategies to feel confident and in control—even on the hardest days.
Curious about joining the Stuck to Started coaching membership?
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Sarah Lovell (00:03)
Thank
Welcome back to from stuck to started. Today we are talking about one of the most common questions I get as an executive function and ADHD coach, how to keep up with things when you're overwhelmed and life keeps throwing things at you. Overwhelm can be paralyzing and stressful. I don't need to tell you that, but it also can lead to more overwhelmed, right? This chronic feeling of being in catch up mode or like that you're on the edge of burnout.
So today I'm going to share some realistic strategies you can use the next time you're feeling overwhelmed. Let's jump in.
They won't do music, any intro.
The timing of this episode could not be better because I am currently overwhelmed. And I'm overwhelmed in lots of different ways. And I had this realization that we think of overwhelm as basically just bad, right? Like we don't want to experience overwhelm, but sometimes we can be overwhelmed by good things. And I don't want this to sound like it's either good or bad, but you know, I think
overwhelm stresses us out. And what I'm hoping we discover in this episode today is how to kind of pull apart the different types of overwhelm that we experience so that we're not just naming it as one big umbrella thing, but noticing all of the different ways that it impacts us and all of the different areas in our life that it can come from. So there are a few reasons that I'm experiencing overwhelm right now is that I have
a lot of projects that are on my radar with work. Like I love what I do. I love being able to support clients one-on-one in my small group coaching program through this podcast, like my email list, right? Like I have lots of plates spinning. And I went to this really amazing women's yoga retreat for women business owners, solopreneurs. And it was in person and it was so amazing to connect with people in real life.
And I did huge amounts of reflecting over the course of two days. And I had lots of ideas, I was feeling really energized, like new projects and things that I want to do. But I don't actually have the time to take action on them right now. So I'm having this like sense of overwhelm of like, I want to do these things, and I just can't, right? So that's like, the I mean, it feels not great.
But to me, feels like it's actually a good type of overwhelm. Like I'm excited about these things. I want to be able to fit them into my life. Another type of good overwhelm that I'm experiencing is I'm getting ready to travel, to visit family. So that's exciting. But it also comes with the more stressful overwhelm of prepping for that, taking time off of work, making sure all the details are set, right? There's a lot of executive functioning.
planning, organizing, time management that goes into preparing for a trip like that. I'm experiencing routine changes right now. It is winter. We just had a couple of really big storms. So that throws off my schedule with like little things that are actually quite big. Like when am I going to go to the grocery store? If we lose power, how am I going to adjust? You know, and on top of that, having friends coming to visit to go skiing for a week.
And so having people in my space, again, it's lovely to have people around, but it creates, it creates some stress, right? Because there's this routine change. So not only, you know, those are all good types of overwhelm for sure. I don't have a lot of like what I would call bad or stressful overwhelm right now. but I have been talking about it a lot with clients, right? Like when there are deadlines approaching, when
unexpected life changes happen, right? And on top of all of those things, you still need to keep up with the day to day. What's for dinner? I'm running out of clean clothes, taking care of dogs or kids, catching up your inbox never stops, right? You're gonna always have to catch up on emails. There's always going to be cleaning to do. There's always something else being added to your list.
And so I was talking about this in a hot seat coaching call and stuck to started. And so I wanted to share what we talked about in that call because it was really eyeopening for me, being able to talk it through with them in real time. So my definition of overwhelm is that you are either at capacity or over capacity. And what I mean by that is your brain is at its absolute limit or approaching it.
So that includes executive functioning, your ability to plan, organize, prioritize, take action on things. It can also be emotional capacity. Like you are at the limit there with the amount and type and level of emotions that you're experiencing. It can be sensory. It can be sight, like literally like things around you overwhelming you physically, like seeing them. Noise, right?
You can be at capacity with your sensory overwhelm. It can also be decision fatigue. If you're somebody who has to make a lot of decisions, there is a limit to that. And so if you're approaching your limit on any of these things or all of these things, that's when you're truly in the sense of overwhelm and maybe inching towards burnout. But overwhelm is not only just the experience of that. I know I don't have to describe what overwhelm feels like to you. I know you get it.
but overwhelm is also not having the right tools that you need to do the things that are on your list or the things that, that you want to do. overwhelm is also being able to notice and adjust your self talk so that not only are you supporting yourself in this stressful time, but you're also able to, you know, I say this all the time, self talk is the foundation of our executive functioning. What you say to yourself matters. And so.
that truly is a really important starting point with overwhelm. And today I'm going to talk through like realistic strategies that you can use when you're feeling overwhelmed. And I want to just remind you that like self talk, it really does start with self talk. So before I jump into before I jump into some, some strategies that you can use when you're feeling overwhelmed, I want to give you an analogy of
overwhelmed that I talked about with the members in stuck to started. So I talk about executive functioning with the visual of like plate spinning. So like literally like imagine, I don't know, it's circus, I guess it's a circus thing or I don't know if people are spinning plates anymore, but like, you know, the visual of like, plates on a stick and you have to like spin them. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just try to stick with me. But that is basically your to do list, right? Each plate
is something that you're keeping track of. Work, family, self-care, the random to-dos that get added, right? Each of those plates is its own individual task. And on a quote unquote normal day or week, although I don't think there ever is one, if you're somebody who has some executive functioning tools in your toolbox, you're keeping up with spinning those plates. And sometimes,
One plate might need a little bit more attention and then you're adjusting for the other ones. If you're somebody who is struggling with executive functioning, if you don't have the right tools for time management or figuring out how to prioritize, even this can create overwhelm. And I want to normalize and validate that for you. If you're like Sarah, I find daily life overwhelming because I'm chronically trying to figure out how to catch up.
I want you to know that you are not alone, that like, you don't need to have a crazy life event or like lots of things being added to your to-do list to experience overwhelm. If spinning the plates of daily life overwhelms you, you are not alone. And you were not given the right tools to keep up with that plate spinning. And that's what I help people with is look at, okay,
I'm chronically in catch-up mode. I'm chronically in overwhelm trying to figure out all of these things. And it's not your fault. It's because you were given the same set of tools that everybody else was given, you know, a calendar, a to-do list, and an alarm. And that is not enough. And that is not, those aren't the right tools for how your brain is wired. So I just want to let you know that if you find the basics of life overwhelming, like the things that we're always doing,
You deserve different tools in your toolbox and I'm gonna give you some of those today. But I wanna, so that's the visual is like daily life, we're always spinning plates. And then life always throws things at us, right? Whether it's something exciting or like planning a trip or something really heavy like the loss of a family member or something unexpected.
like a deadline that pops up at work that you had no idea about and it's approaching quickly. I picture that as its own plate and that plate is bigger and more fragile and like it is sticking out in your plate spinning lineup that you have. And this plate requires more time, attention, energy and tools from your toolbox.
And so when this plate comes into the lineup, and maybe there's more than one of them, of these big fancy fragile plates, you're like, crap, I cannot let this plate fall. And so one or two things happens, maybe more, but I'm gonna give two examples. One is you are like, that plate is really scary. I'm going to avoid it and just try to keep up with these other plates and maybe that plate will go away. Spoiler, it doesn't.
And so right, like there might be some avoidance of the thing that's causing overwhelm. Or the flip of that, you're like, I have to spend all of this time, energy and attention on this plate. And so you're trying to problem solve the fragile plate. And then your daily plates stop getting touched. And they stop spinning. And maybe a couple of them fall to the ground, or they knock into each other. Right. And I really hope this
plate spinning analogy is connecting, because I'm so visual, this is how I picture it. But this is, that's when you're at or over capacity, like you can't keep up. And it feels like everything is falling apart. And when you're at capacity, it becomes even harder to use the executive functioning tools that you have in your toolbox. Even if you're like, Sarah, I don't have the right tools.
you're still struggling to use whatever tools you are using. And when this happens, the things that maybe you were on top of, or you had a system for, or you were like, I'm feeling good about how my partner and I are planning meals for the week, or laundry is mostly caught up, or I've been responding to my emails on time, right? Like there's something that you're like feeling like you're in a good flow with, whatever that might be, self-care.
going to bed on time, whatever, anything that you were in a good flow with is at risk of the plate not being spun. And then it becomes harder to do that thing where that thing falls off, falls off your plate. And that's when we get stuck comparing yourself to yourself. You're comparing current you to past you. You're like, I used to be able to do this. Why can't I do it right now? Because you're in overwhelm.
And because you're in overwhelm and because you're at capacity, it is harder to use the tools that you were using. And your brain autopilots to the path of least resistance. Your brain is trying to protect you. And for some of us, the path of least resistance is actually not that helpful, right? It might be when you have free time to try to catch up on things or work on things, you autopilot to doom scrolling.
or to a comfort show. There's nothing wrong with self-care, but if it's causing you more stress because you're not able to touch the plates that you need to spin, again, that's like a red flag for overwhelm is building and building. So the first step to managing overwhelm is naming.
what you are experiencing. If you've listened to past episodes, you know I talk about this all the time. This is the self-talk piece. Name it to tame it. When you tell your brain what it's experiencing to the best of your ability, it's not gonna magically solve it. I wish it did, but it does give your brain this sense of a little bit of relief, a little bit of breathing room. Like, yeah, I'm overwhelmed because my to-do list is way too long and there literally is not enough time.
in the day or the week, like the sheer volume of tasks I need to do is unrealistic, right? So it could be task-related overwhelm. You're able to point to, you know, I have done so many small tedious tasks, it's feeling so monotonous, so repetitive, I cannot keep, I can't keep doing it, right? Decision overload, right? I can't keep making decisions, I need somebody else, even the small stuff, I need somebody else to help me decide.
Right? So there could be task-related overwhelm. There also could be emotional overwhelm. Like I said, it could be something that you're overstimulated by excitement, something positive, an opportunity or event coming up. On the other side of that, it could be grief that you're struggling to process loss or sadness. There could be relationship overwhelm, managing conflict, social obligations, boundaries.
Sensory overwhelm, I mentioned this one. This is one that not many of us think about, but noise, visual clutter, crowds, honestly even technology overwhelm, I think can be categorized as a sensory overwhelm, bombarded by notifications, emails, screen time, time-related overwhelm, right? Like if you have a time crunch, not having enough time to complete the thing that you need to, feeling overwhelmed with the idea of long-term planning.
Like thinking ahead just feels impossible.
Transitions, task switching, that is a huge one. I talk about this all the time with people. Task switching requires all of your executive functioning and if you're overwhelmed for any other reason, it's gonna be even harder to switch between tasks.
There might be some health related overwhelm, whether it's physical health, mental health, and navigating those things. And then in general, I wanna just name executive dysfunction overwhelm, feeling paralysis, struggling to prioritize, keep track of things, feeling, like I said, feeling like you're chronically trying to catch up. And then once you do catch up, if you do catch up,
having like a tiny bit of breathing room, but then being back into the cycle of chronically needing to catch up. And so naming the type of overwhelm or types, you know, they overlap each other is really important. Like I said, when we're able to acknowledge what we're experiencing, our brain does do this little sigh of relief. So.
Maybe you have a little bit of clarity on the types of overwhelm you're experiencing or have experienced in the past. And I think it is important to like make it a little bit more specific. It's not just overwhelm as an umbrella. It's these different types, right? So now I want you to pause in this current moment, literally could be right now while listening to this podcast, or it could be when you're going through this process after the podcast.
but doing like a basic needs check in with yourself. This is the second step to managing overwhelm. And it's going to sound small and silly, but I promise it's not. But what do you need right now? And go back to basics. Like, do you need a glass of water? Do you need a snack? Do you need to get up and move? Do you need fresh air? Do you want to talk to somebody or do you want to take space? Right? So assessing like the basic foundational
self-care needs. Because I think oftentimes when we're in overwhelm, again, one of two things tends to happen. We avoid because we're like, I don't want to think about it. I don't want to, I'm going to try to just not experience, I don't want to think about it. Right? So we, we kind of push it down and go path of least resistance route. Or the other end of that would be like trying to jump in and problem solve and just like,
get some things done or try to take some things off your list. And sometimes when we do that, we don't pause to check in with ourselves. We're in like that hustle mode, I guess. And so taking a couple of minutes to just check in with yourself and assessing your basic needs is huge because it creates a little bit of space, like mental space, emotional space, checking in with where your energy is at, right? It allows you to honor what you need.
So then step three of this is taking a little bit of time to reflect. And this is where having,
So now that you've named the type of overwhelm you're experiencing, you've paused to check in with yourself, now it's time to reflect. And this is where you're going to take a tool from your toolbox, a strategy that matches the reason you're overwhelmed. So let me give you an example. Right now, my to-do list just keeps growing.
because I have not only the things that I actually need to do, but I have all these ideas and these things that I'm excited about and these things that I want to do or the things that are being asked of me, right? And so the reason I'm overwhelmed is there's too much on my plate and not enough time and energy. And so the strategy that I'm gonna pull from my toolbox is I need to prioritize. I need to delegate and I need to ask for help. And...
As an executive function coach, I have lots of tools that help me do that. The clients I work with, they come to me and they're like, Sarah, I can't do all of this. And I help them create the tool to prioritize. I help them step up and speak up for themselves to delegate or ask for help. And so I'll give you a couple of tools that I've helped clients create. It looks different for every single person.
because your toolbox needs to be unique for you, right? That's what I was saying at the beginning. Like we can't all just use the same tools. That won't work. But one of my favorite questions and one that a lot of my clients have put into their toolbox is what is going to make the most impact for me right now? What is going to make the most impact for me right now? And that might be taking some time to regulate your nervous system, to do some self care.
It might be brain dumping things out onto paper. It might be taking a super small step towards something on your to do list. Right. So what is going to make the most impact for you right now? And then another piece of this is giving yourself permission that it won't all get done.
And I know that is a really hard one because your brain is telling you it all needs to get done. It's all important. You can't avoid this. And that's just not reality. Nobody is finishing their to-do list every single day. Like nobody wakes up with a clean slate the next day. There's always going to be some carryover because life just keeps throwing things at us. Like that's reality.
and so giving yourself permission, speaking kindly to yourself again, that self talk piece is so important because your brain autopilots the like negative self talk or the like blame, shame, guilt, mean, bully self talk for many of us, many people, your brain autopilots that. And so it takes practice to notice that that is happening and reframe it for yourself. I have a lot on my plate today.
It's okay that it's not all gonna get done. What is going to make the most impact for me right now? So those are tools, tools for my toolbox. So that is, if you're like Sarah, I don't know how to create a toolbox. That is exactly what I do in Stuck to Started. I help members build their toolbox. All right, so step four is making a plan.
So now that you've asked yourself what will make the most impact for me right now, maybe it's a couple of follow-up questions and like taking some steps. So do you need to do a different task than what you were initially planning? Maybe the task that you sat down to do is so overwhelming. It's just not gonna happen in this moment. And so instead of getting stuck in limbo where you're not actually taking action on the task and you're not actually doing something for self-care, pivoting.
to a lighter lift or something that will boost your mood or something that will be a quick checkbox to give your brain a win, right? And this is where, like this action taking is what requires all those executive functioning skills. And this is where most people get stuck. I want you to know that this is where most people get stuck. And so again, the self-talk piece loops back in here. I'm gonna read you something a client said in a hot seat coaching call.
And she has been working really hard to adjust her expectations and adjust herself talk around navigating overwhelm and navigating the things that she has on her to do list. She said, I let things take the time I needed them to. I didn't rush to get stuff done because I have the time to do it in the way I want at a later point.
So she's practicing giving herself that space. And this is not possible for every single task, right? But the things that she wants to do, right? Knowing like I can do them in a different way. I can do them in a way that's going to work for me.
So I wanna wrap up this episode with what I hope is one of your takeaways, that adjusting your expectations and being kinder to yourself is definitely one of the hardest things to do, but it's going to be the foundation of how you work through overwhelm. Because you'll be able to work in a way that's more sustainable for you and you'll feel better.
If you are like, I need more tips and tricks for planning. Episode seven, the power of planning is where I talk through how to turn swirling ideas into action. And if you're somebody who is like, Sarah, I need to set more boundaries. I need to advocate for myself. I need to ask for help. Episode 12 is for overwhelmed people pleasers. And I go through some specific
strategies that you can use there too. So please keep giving yourself credit for doing the hard things. Please keep practicing reframes for yourself. Practice that kindness that you deserve, because I know you have a lot of things on your to do list. And I know you want to figure out better ways to do them so that you so that you feel better. I know that you have goals that you're excited about. Maybe you're unsure how to take action on
And not many people talk about this. Not many people talk about navigating overwhelm. And I feel so privileged that I get to have these conversations with my clients and Stuck2Started every week because most of us are pretty overwhelmed. So if you're looking for a community of people who get it, if you're looking for ongoing support through hot seat coaching calls, workshops, accountability check-ins, I want you to know Stuck2Started is here for you. If you have
questions, you can send me a DM on Instagram or email me at Sarah with an H at executive functioning first calm. Most members who've joined stuck to started have chatted with me first to make sure that it was a good fit for them. And I appreciate you being here in my podcast community. And I'm looking forward to talking with you again next week. Take extra good care.
