How to pick the right strategies to navigate perfectionism, executive dysfunction, and ADHD paralysis
Perfectionism or Executive Dysfunction? Understanding the Overlap
Have you ever spent way too long researching the perfect planner, waiting for the right moment to start a project, or rewriting an email ten times before hitting send—or maybe not sending it at all?
It might seem like perfectionism, but what if executive dysfunction is actually at play?
In this blog, we’ll break down how executive dysfunction can masquerade as perfectionism and how the search for the perfect system, the right order, or the ideal timing might be keeping you stuck. Most importantly, we’ll explore strategies to navigate both challenges so you can take action with confidence.
The Question That Changed My Perspective
A longtime coaching client of mine recently asked a question that completely reframed the way I think about perfectionism and executive function challenges.
She was struggling to send an important work email and asked, “Is this perfectionism, or is this my executive dysfunction popping up?”
It was a lightbulb moment.
She was putting off sending the email because she believed it had to be 100% complete, perfectly worded, and include every single detail. That certainly sounded like perfectionism.
But as we explored further, we uncovered another layer: She wasn’t sure how to prioritize the information she needed to include. That’s an executive function skill—problem-solving, prioritizing, and decision-making were all getting in her way.
This was the intersection of perfectionism and executive dysfunction.
The Perfectionism-Executive Dysfunction Venn Diagram
Many of my clients struggle with both executive functioning challenges and perfectionism. While perfectionism says, “It needs to be flawless,” executive dysfunction says, “I don’t know how to break this down into manageable steps.” Together, they create a perfect storm of avoidance and ADHD paralysis.
Here are some common ways this overlap shows up:
1. Waiting for the “Perfect” Time
Time blindness—one of the most common executive function challenges—makes it difficult to estimate how long things will take or to feel time passing accurately. This can lead to:
Overestimating how long something will take, causing avoidance (“I need a full day to get started on this”).
Underestimating how long something will take, leading to last-minute scrambling.
Perfectionism then amplifies the problem by making you believe there’s a perfect time to start. But if you’ve struggled with time management for years, that pressure to “figure it out perfectly” can make starting feel impossible.
What to do:Instead of waiting for the perfect time, use a time-blocking technique. Set a timer for a small, manageable chunk (e.g., 15 minutes) to get started and see where it takes you.
2. Procrasti-Planning
Do you spend hours creating the perfect plan but never actually start? That’s procrasti-planning—a combination of perfectionism and executive dysfunction.
You might tell yourself, “I just need to get everything set up first,” but by the time you do, you’re mentally exhausted and out of time.
What to do:Recognize when planning has become a form of avoidance. Use a “good enough” mindset and limit your planning time before jumping into action.
3. Fear of Doing Things in the “Wrong” Order
Some people struggle to take action because they’re worried about messing up the sequence of steps. This might look like:
Avoiding cleaning because you don’t know which task to start with.
Holding off on a project because you’re not sure if Step 1 is actually the “right” starting point
While this may seem like perfectionism, it can also stem from past experiences where doing things out of order created more work or challenges navigating uncertainty. The fear of wasted effort is a real executive function challenge.
What to do:Try the “reverse planning” method—start by identifying the final step and working backward. This can make it easier to take the first step without overthinking.
Navigating the Overlap
If you struggle with perfectionism and executive dysfunction, know that you’re not alone. The key is recognizing when these two challenges are working together to keep you stuck and experimenting with strategies that help you move forward.
If you’re waiting for the perfect time: Start with a short time-blocked session.
If you’re stuck in planning mode: Set a deadline for planning and shift into action.
If you’re afraid of the wrong order:Work backward from your goal to create a flexible plan.
By learning to navigate these overlaps, you can break free from the cycle of avoidance and start taking action in a way that works for your brain.
Looking for additional support getting unstuck?
Looking for additional support getting unstuck?
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Sarah Lovell (00:00.334)
Ahem.
Have you ever spent way too long researching the perfect planner, waiting for the right moment to start a project or rewriting an email 10 times before hitting send or maybe not hitting send at all? It might seem like perfectionism popping up, but what if it's actually your executive functioning getting in the way? But what if it's actually your executive functioning getting in the way?
In this episode, we're breaking down how executive dysfunction can look like perfectionism and how that sneaky need for the best system, the right order, or the perfect timing might be keeping you stuck and want to do about it.
Music, intro.
Sarah Lovell (00:59.47)
So a client I've been working with for a long time in one-on-one coaching asked me a big question that I had never really thought about before. We were working through coming up with a plan for her to send an email at work that she was feeling a lot of stress over. And so we were breaking it down. We were talking it through. We were coming up with a plan. And she said, is this perfectionism or is this ex-
Or is this executive dysfunction popping up right now? And I had like this mind blown, aha, like, my gosh, that is such a good question. And I'm so proud of you for having this much insight into like what could be keeping her stuck in this moment. Because I had worked with her for a really long time in one-on-one coaching and we had had lots of conversations about perfectionism and executive function challenges.
and she put these two pieces together in a way that I never really had before. And so it's such a good question. Is what is keeping me stuck right now perfectionism or executive dysfunction? And so we dove into it together. I was like, this is about to be such a good conversation. And there definitely is a Venn diagram overlap across the two.
As an executive function and ADHD coach, I work with obviously a lot of folks who are struggling with their executive functioning, time management, planning, organizing, prioritizing, getting started on tasks. And I also work with a lot of recovering perfectionist people pleasers. And a question I get asked a lot is, is it common with ADHD to be a perfectionist? And I have not deep dove, deep dive, whatever the phrase is.
into the research on that. But anecdotally, as a coach for the last 11 years, I can say I work with a lot of people who fit into both of those categories.
Sarah Lovell (03:11.724)
I think there is definitely an overlap between perfectionism and challenges with executive functioning, but I had never thought about it in this way until I had this conversation with my coaching client. And so basically she was trying to send an email and feeling really stressed about it because her brain was saying it needs to be 100 % complete before I can hit send. It needs to have all of the information in it.
It needs to be worded just right. And so that sounds like perfectionism. But then when we started diving deeper into why she was stuck, we realized part of her challenge was that she wasn't sure how to prioritize what information to include. And that's an executive function skill. And right, so it's problem solving, it's prioritizing, it's doing critical thinking. And so part of her brain was saying, you need to include all of it.
And the part of her brain saying you need to include all of it is that like central Venn diagram overlap of executive functioning challenges and perfectionism. So perfectionism, it needs to be polished and flawless and perfectly worded. And so maybe that keeps you getting stuck to start because there's this pressure of it needs to be a certain way. But executive functioning challenges can also keep you stuck.
I don't know how to break this down into manageable steps. I don't know how to get started, right? So again, there's this Venn diagram of both of those things can be happening at the same time and perfectionism and executive function challenges are keeping you stuck. And so I was like having this aha moment with her of like, yes, it is both of these things. And maybe in certain situations we can pull it apart.
like we did in this situation and say, okay, here's where some of it is perfectionism. Here where some of it is executive functioning challenges. And then you can address the self-talk that relates to both of those. And then you can pull tools from your toolbox that relates to both of those. And so I was like, my gosh, now I'm gonna be on the lookout for this all the time, right? Like where is this Venn diagram? And so another place that this pops up often with my clients is
Sarah Lovell (05:36.428)
the experience of time blindness and finding the perfect time to do something. So time blindness is basically this experience that you experience time differently. You don't feel time passing. Something might feel like it's only been a couple of minutes, but it's been way longer, can go the other way around. You can be like, my gosh, I've been doing this for hours and it's been 20 minutes.
It can also be the challenge of not knowing how long things will take and having a significant challenge of guessing how long something will take. And then if you add that into the experience of not feeling time, that's time blindness. And it looks different and it feels different for different people. But if you've never heard that term before, I wanna validate you in your experience. If you're somebody who is like, time is a mystery to me, you are not alone.
And so time blindness and figuring out how to estimate time, how to plan time, how to take action on certain times, that's an executive function skill. The idea of finding the perfect time sounds like perfectionism, but I think there's an overlap here where if you're somebody who has chronically struggled with time, there can be this pressure of I need to figure it out.
and I need to figure it out perfectly. So I think that's the Venn diagram of executive functioning challenges and perfectionism. So I see this with clients a lot when they want to wait for the ideal condition to do something. The perfect energy level, the perfect workspace, the perfect, like a big amount of time to do something because if you're not sure how long it's gonna take, you're like, I need a full day of uninterrupted time.
That way I know I can get this done or I can get this started, right? And so that again, is that overlap. If you're somebody who overestimates how long something should take, that can lead to avoidance. And again, that can look like perfectionism. There might be some perfectionism there if I need it to be the perfect time to start. Underestimating how long it'll take can sometimes lead to a last minute scramble, which then creates pressure of
Sarah Lovell (08:03.446)
If you're somebody who historically you've done things really well at the last minute, that pressure of, I work well under pressure, even if it doesn't feel good. And so then being like, I need to create high quality work in this scramble because I've told myself that that's the only way I can get work done. And so your brain might seek out an imaginary best time or perfect time instead of just starting.
And so if you experience timeliness, chances are this is primarily an executive function challenge with a hint of perfectionism mixed in. Depending on you, maybe there's more perfectionism there. And I know I've talked about in past episodes and on my Instagram and on my email list and with all my coaching clients, this idea of like starting, there is some formula for starting things in terms of like,
you do wanna be in the right energy and you do need to have enough time and space. But it really is this like tetracing puzzle of executive functioning to figure out what that looks like and then navigating if perfectionism is popping up on top of that.
Sarah Lovell (09:20.086)
Another overlap of perfectionism and executive functioning challenges is procrastin planning. I recorded an entire episode on this episode 14, because it is super common and something I talk about all the time. I had a client one day it described it as I will get ready all day. And, and then when that happens, right, she was describing like, spending so much time and energy trying to create the perfect plan.
that it ends up preventing action because you're exhausted by the end of it. And that's a great spot to check in. Is this executive functioning challenges or is this perfectionism? Because I think if you're somebody who's experienced lots of challenges, figuring out how to plan and how to organize and how to figure out what comes first, then that might look like perfectionism because it's taking you so much cognitive energy.
to pull from your executive functioning toolbox and you're like, I don't know, is this right? Is this the right time to start it? Is this the right order of events? That it might look like perfectionism, it might feel like perfectionism, maybe part of it is, but I also think a lot of that is challenges with executive functioning because you don't have the right tools in your toolbox. I've worked with a lot of clients.
who feel like there needs to be the perfect order of operations to do things. What if I do this in the wrong order and it ruins the whole plan? That might sound like perfectionism and maybe it is perfectionism, but I also think that is a lot of executive functioning challenges built up over a lifetime where you've experienced the problem of I did things out of order and then I created more work for myself, or I did things out of order
and things got messed up and it feels like I wasted my time and my energy. So that is executive functioning challenges and that you deserve better tools to help you plan and organize and figure out the order of events so that you can take action.
Sarah Lovell (11:36.11)
The final way that I'm gonna talk about this overlap of perfectionism and executive function challenges is the search for the most efficient system. My clients love efficient systems to the point that it sometimes prevents them from even using systems because of this procrastinate planning. So research mode can be valuable.
Like that you're gonna look into different options and try things out, but it can be a form of procrasta planning if you're trying to find the best way to organize your computer tabs or the perfect app to monitor your sleep or the optimal system to keep track of work projects or the best time to work on this project. And so that might sound like perfectionism. It might be.
Perfectionism, are you noticing a theme of this podcast? But I think it's also this underlying experience of executive functioning challenges that have built up over a lifetime where you're like, I've never found a system that worked for me. So I'm going to go into research mode and try to find the best one or the perfect one. There is a Venn diagram there of perfectionism and executive functioning challenges. And the desire for a perfect system.
creates decision paralysis, right? So if you don't have the perfect system, you can't start, that's perfectionism. If you don't have a system that will work for you and you can't start, that's executive functioning challenges. And if those things sound like the same thing to your brain, then you're in that overlap of perfectionism and executive functioning challenges. So I hope this episode,
One of your main takeaways is that perfectionism and executive functioning overlap. And if you're someone who's experiencing challenges with executive functioning and perfectionism, it elevates the level of challenge that you have every single day. And I wanna validate that for you. Like I think this episode doesn't have like a super concrete strategy to try or...
Sarah Lovell (13:57.786)
I'll give you a couple of ideas, but this episode is mostly to validate your experience. Cause I think oftentimes people come to coaching and they feel like something is wrong or like they should have been able to figure it out or why does everybody else have it figured out and it feels like I'm just chronically in catch up mode or like on the edge of burnout or in burnout. And so I hope this episode is validating for you. If you're somebody who struggles with perfectionism,
and executive functioning challenges that this overlap makes things that much harder. And the...
Sarah Lovell (14:39.084)
The first step of working through this challenge is one, noticing that it's happening, right? Being able to name it for yourself. And then being able to, like I said, in every single episode, notice your self-talk and practice being kind and patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate these challenges. Because when you are compassionate with yourself, when you allow for some flexibility, practicing taking
practicing that, practicing taking imperfect action, executive functioning is more supported, and it takes some of that pressure off. And I know that's easier said than done. So I think being able to check in with yourself, validate for yourself that what you're working through is challenging, and maybe look out for situations where this might be popping up.
see if you can pull apart like how much of this is executive functioning challenges, how much of this is perfectionism, how much overlap is there between the two, because noticing is truly the first step. And then you can pull executive functioning tools from your toolbox to navigate the situation, always starting with self-talk. And if you're like, Sarah, I need tools in my executive functioning toolbox, that is exactly what I help people build in my coaching membership, Stuck to Started.
So if you have questions on that, send me a message, an email, a DM on Instagram. There's links in the show notes, but I would love to help support you navigate that and build a toolbox that works for your brain. Keep being kind to yourself, keep giving yourself credit, and thank you so much for being part of my community here.
